Everyday we are governed by our thoughts.  Our thoughts project our reality.  The thoughts transfer then into actions, whether we are aware of it or not.

First, where does our thinking come from?  What it is based on?  Why we think the way we think?  Most of it consist of what we read, what we heard, what we learned.  Most of our thoughts are based on our past, that is familiar to us.  That’s why it is so hard to break away from mistakes we keep making.  We fall into the same trap, being aware of it or not.

For example, why some women or men fall repeatedly into abusive relationships?  Unconsciously, that’s familiar to them.  They do not know any better.  Why it is so hard to break bad habits? We think, we always done it that way – our mind keeps us hostage.  Why we keep our job even though we hate it? – it is familiar.  We justify that we got good insurance, great benefits, but each morning comes and we dread to go to work.  Days become years, and we are stuck being unhappy.  Some days are better than others, but deep inside we know we deserve better – yet we do not do anything about it.

We want to change so badly.  We promise ourselves “some day,” yet we keep going like the mouse in the wheel, and we get nowhere.

So, how to get unstuck?  How to re-condition our minds to go where we want to go, to achieve what we want to achieve?  How to get away from the past?

How about if we keep our past just for a reference to keep the lessons we learned?  That’s it.  As for present and future, let’s step into unfamiliar zone as often as possible.  What we think is what our reality is.

Another example:  If we think we cannot find our eyeglasses, we will search everywhere, even though they’re in our hand.  Now, if we concentrate in finding them, then we’ll find them instantly.  The same is with life.  If we think, we cannot do something, we’ll not even going to try it.  Now, if we think we can do it, we might end up doing it better than we previously thought.  We might surprise ourselves.  We got to step into unfamiliar, do new things, think in different ways – to recondition our minds that we can do anything we desire.

If we are stuck in abusive relationship, first, we got to change our mentality that we are worth only the best, and either stand up for ourselves or leave, or both.  In some instances, we might need help in that.  No person should be ever abused.

If we want to break free from a bad habit, we got to imagine us to be healthy, successful, honest, etc., whatever it might be, opposite from a bad habit – and condition our minds to take action toward it.

If we hate our jobs, think of this, “Life is too short to be unhappy, ” and take actions to change it.  We may need to save up for our new venture, or still work there until our hobby will take off to full time venture.  However, with our goal in mind we can now tolerate our jobs because we know it is only temporary.  Or, if we’re prepared, we can quit now, and go after our dreams now without waiting.

The key is to shift our minds and think positive.  We got to keep our minds on the target goal and go for it even it is not familiar or we’re afraid.  That’s where thinking positive comes in.  When we think positive, we are not easily let down and we see end results and go for them no matter what.  Sure, there might be things in the way, but with our shifted positive thinking, we can think outside the box and find solutions.  It’s all in our minds whether we can or cannot do.  Let’s choose, we can do it and act on it now.

We all have our energy fields.  Did you ever felt that somebody was having a bad day without even talking to them?  Or, somebody passes you, and you suddenly feel such a great energy from them, you can’t explain.  The worst is when after talking to somebody, you feel all your energy is drained.  That’s when you encountered an energy vampire.

These people are usually negative.  Nothing satisfies them.  After spending even a little time with them, you feel very tired, out of energy, as if somebody sucked you all out of your vitality.  Conversely, after talking to you, they may feel revitalized.  How to recognize them?

1) They usually talk on and on about their problems or somebody else’s problems.

2) They slander about others non-stop

3) They are self-absorbed

They do not realize what effect they have;  they just bring their negativity onto others.

So, how to ward off this energy vampire?  What if they are our close friends or family?  You don’t need to say good-bye to them forever , as long as:

1) You stay in the present and be aware of it;

2) Do not take their talk whole-heartedly, do not take it personally;

3) As soon as you feel the energy drain, cut them off by saying you got to go or change a subject;

4) You do not have to listen to stuff you don’t want to listen.  Don’t need to put up with crap.

5) Be in control of conversation.

If you do feel your energy drained after conversation, go get fresh air, breathe.  Do not let your mind to recapture the whole encounter and conversation.  Think about something else, preferably something pleasant.

What are you afraid of?  What do you want to conquer? Who or what you want to be, but your fears keep you hostage?

There are so many phobias out there.  Some of them are reasonable, and some of them are not.  Some fears are for your own protection; it’s your instinct for survival.  It’s great to have these fears.  If it comes from instinct or hunch, these fears should never be ignored.  It’s your inner knowing that something is not right.  You should act on your instinct.  Reaction to them usually is to fight or flee.  Do what your inner knowing tells you to do.  It’s great when that kind of fear keeps you on your toes.

Then, there are fears that are unreasonable.  You don’t know why, but you afraid of something.  These fears keep you from functioning normally in every day life, keeps you away from achieving something, keeps you dead in the tracks.  Examples include fear of public speaking, fear of heights, fear of swimming, fear to succeed, fear of unknown, etc., etc.  You want to achieve something, but these fears keep you away from what you want.  If only you would overcome them, life would be so much more fun.

To get rid of the fears, first we have to look at deep roots what caused them.  Perhaps,

1. Something scared us in the past;

2. We are scared of consequences. (Example:  afraid to look foolish)

3. What others might think. (this is huge)

We might come up with different reasons.  Or, we might not even know what causes our fears.

In these situations, most of the time our mind is our enemy.  We will think of different consequences and reasons not to do what we want:  we might fall from the sky, the bug might bite us, we may drown, we may faint, we may die, etc., etc.  If only we let our mind to come up with different conclusions, it will.  We will tremble and will not achieve a thing.  The key to these situations is to consciously shut out thoughts, dismiss them as ridiculous.

The only thing we should concentrate on is the end result.  Instead of “I’m afraid,” tell yourself “I can do this.”  Do not look at it as fear.  Look at it as a challenge, a game to play.  Then use your imagination how your life would be if you would conquer this challenge, if you would win at this game.  You might make a difference in delivering a powerful speech, you might be able to swim with dolphins, to be able to travel on airplanes like many people do, to go on adventures, etc., etc.  Imagine the whole possibilities and make yourself do it what challenges you the most.  Then, repeat it again and again until your mind will register it’s OK, and conquering a challenge will become a second nature to you.  Practice makes it easy.  You can win at this game – you better believe it.  Mind is powerful.  We just need to know how to consciously use it.

For more help with public-speaking, see how-to-be-brave-in-public-speaking.

Do you want to feel several pounds lighter?  Do you want that huge stone out of your chest?  Do you want to go forward despite your hurtful past?  There is the way.

We all been hurt by our past at some point in our lives.  I know I was.  We all had somebody who treated us unfairly, badly and in some cases in horrendous ways.  Some of us might been mistreated in physical, some of us in mental and emotional ways.  Physical scars most likely healed, but emotional and mental scars are really hard to heal.  They say time is the best healer.  It’s true.  However, the right attitude makes healing faster.

When you are mad on a person who wronged you, you have all these hating thoughts.  You think all the ways what you would do and say, if you ever meet him or her again.  You might even plot a revenge, or at least you want something bad happen to them, so they would know what pain they caused you.  You work yourself up.  How could they hurt you?  You are in so much pain.

The thing is these thoughts only hurt you.  You run through your past over and over again.  And, people who you hate are going about their business, not even aware of your thoughts.  They even might not be aware of how they wronged you.  The only thing that hurting you is you – your own thoughts and memories.  We all are controlled by our thoughts.  What we think is what our reality is.  Now think of this:  our past is powerless in regards to our now and the future.  The only person that is responsible for our thoughts and feelings – we, and not the person who hurt us.  Would we in the right mind choose to hurt ourselves?  By blaming and hating other, we only are causing pain to us.  We let that person in our minds to still control our thoughts without consciously aware of it.  When in fact, we are the ones who make ourselves miserable.  It’s time to put our past where it belongs – in the past, clear our head and make a space for now and future.  It’s all in our thoughts and choosing.

Some of you might be protesting:  “But he or she did this to me!” Let me make this clear.  Forgiving is in no way condoning and accepting the hurt you or others received.  It does not justify the wrong doing.  Forgiving is accepting that all of it happened in the past, and it does not hurt you right here, right now.  Forgiving is the healing of your own heart.  It is letting go of the past hurts and have a peace of mind.  The wrongdoer only knew how to be according his own dealing with his own reality.

Now, look at your memories this way.  They are the reminders for your own protection that you would not get into the same situation again.  Memories are something to learn from.  All the rest – the past – is history and not here anymore.  You are not being hurt right now.  So, why to torture yourself with thoughts of hate or dislike?  Why to bring your past to now and the future?

When you forgive someone, you have the most lightest feeling.  As if someone took away that heavy stone out of your chest.  When you have no one  to blame, your heart is filled with nothing, but love.

I made peace in my heart and got rid of the stone that was crushing my chest.  Thanks to my hurtful past, I learned many lessons and I know that it made me the person I am today – the strongest I ever been in my entire life.  I even made friends with people who I thought mistreated or insulted me.  Some of it was just misunderstanding.  Now, as long as I stay present, I’m not going to let anybody to treat me like a dirt.

My heart is full of love and forgiveness.

Everyone of us are powerful.  Some of us express it more than others.  I’m not talking about having a power over others.  That’s dominance, and not powerful at all.  I’m talking about being powerful in making your dreams come true, inspiring others, leading a great life that you always wanted to have.  Being powerful is to be true to yourself and others, no matter what.  Some of us may argue:  but I do not have resources, I have no luck, have too many responsibilities, etc., etc.  I tell you this:  outside circumstances has nothing to do with it.  It is what inside of us that matters – our own thoughts, and following actions.

What prevents us from succeeding?  What prevents us from being powerful?

Here are 3 main things:

1) We put ourselves in the box;

2) We let others to put us in the box;

3) combination of 1 and 2.

How do we do that?  By limiting thoughts.  Who we are?  Do we really know?  What are we really capable of?  What those boxes consist of? – We usually limit ourselves of what we can and cannot do.  We base our decisions usually on our past, on our fears, on our limitations of our mind – that’s what the boxes are made of.  Or, likewise, we let others set for us what we can and cannot do.  Our mind is made up of our own thoughts.  If we set our mind up that we cannot accomplish something, for sure we will fail.  Now, opposite is true.  If we set our mind to find the way, sure enough we will think of a solution (outside the box) and we will find the way.  Our mind is powerful.  Our mind can come up with infinite possibilities if we only going to let it.  We can think in multi-dimensional ways that we never thought of.  The key is not let the box – the past, the fears, limitations- to get in the way.  Other key is not to let other people to control your thoughts and actions and to be aware when that occurs.  Sometimes, other people try to influence you not out of bad will.  That’s just their way of being.  Or, you trained them that way by being a person they think they know. You can always re-train them when you are aware of it.

There is always a solution for everything.  To find it, you got to be powerful and think outside the box.  Powerful Now consists of powerful thoughts and actions.  How can you be powerful today, right now?

What you concentrate on, that’s what you see. Did you notice that? If you think you will have a great day, usually good things happen. Opposite is true, too. If you get a new car, you start noticing the same cars on the street. Even when you think of someone, they may call, come or write you unexpectedly. Things work in wonderous ways. As Ralph Waldo Emerson put it, “We become what we think about all day long.”

Despite very cold weather we are having, and despite Groundhog predictions, I know spring is here already. Sure enough, I see signs everywhere: flocks of robins, starlings, and martins, and new shoots on the trees. Today I even saw some bees buzzing around new blossoms. I know we are in Florida, but we are having record low temperatures, lasting for a long time. In 20 years in Florida, that’s the coldest winter we ever seen. By looking at the whole picture, it sure feels like there is still winter. But if you are close to nature, you start to notice specific details missed by almost everyone. (Sometimes it is good to be different ).