Self Concept

How many of us can look in the mirror and really like ourselves, without being critical?  Or seeing ourselves in the pictures without pressing the “Delete” button? Or even let others take pictures of us?  Do we really “see” ourselves for who we are?

We want to look perfect, thin, beautiful, smart, dressed up, with make up on to look somewhat decent.  We want to wait for someday to look just right: after vigorous exercise regime, after we lose some pounds, after someday we be happy… The list goes on. We keep chasing that “perfect” image of us that keeps eluding us.

The big question is “Why?” Why do we want to be perfect?  Is it for us or for others?  Is that our opinion, or others’?  What if today we would accept ourselves the way we are?  What that would be like?  What if others’ opinions do not really matter?  Some of us might protest, “Yeah, but my career/relationship… depend on it,” and other “yeah, buts.” It is just a butt.  It is all in our heads.  Perhaps we got to look elsewhere for our career, perhaps we got to surround ourselves with people who accept the way we are.  Or perhaps we got to accept ourselves first.  This is where we have to start.  When we start accepting ourselves no matter what, others will accept us, too.  If they will not, it will not matter to us anymore as long as we know who we are.  We ourselves can make us happy anytime we want to.  We do not need to depend on others for happiness.  It is our own choice.

Why do we want to be perfect (according others’ opinion) anyway?  We are not them and they’re not us.  We are ourselves, and nobody is like us, which we can learn to embrace it.  Nature is imperfect.  That’s why it is so beautiful.  The same here.  We are all unique, all kinds of shapes and forms.  Each one of us have unique talents, unique gifts, unique looks.  Can we imagine how boring it would be if we all would look the same and act the same?  Plastic surgeons already are making some people look the same with big lips, straight nose, fake unmovable smile.  Why in the world do we want to look like that?

When we do depend on others and reach for their approval, we become like zombies, not ourselves, and less of who we are.  We even start to live others’ lives, lives according others’ opinion.  In our minds, we care for others, but we do not really see ourselves.  We become unhappy and depressed and we do not know who we are anymore.  We hit “identity crisis.” This is an extreme case, of course, when we devote ourselves to others without leaving anything for ourselves.

We all make mistakes.  We all have our stories.  That’s how we see and learn from life.  We either embrace it – our lives, our lessons and dreams, even our bodies, or we let others to control us the way we look, the way we feel, the way we see and the way we act.  It is all up to us.  Do we want a ship to take us anywhere, or do we want to grab a wheel and choose our destination of our lives and dreams?  Do we want to live our lives or others’?

Who are you for yourself (without others’ opinion)? What do you do for your own enjoyment that lights up your eyes, puts you on the seventh cloud and makes your heart sing? What do you have as a result of it?

If it too hard to answer these questions, dream the answers.  Dream it big.  It is your life.  It is your dreams.  It is not others’.  It is all yours.  Keep your wheel in your hands, and lead your heart to your desired destination.  Where would you go?

Tags: beauty, identity crisis, inspiration, life, looking beautiful, opinion, people, personal, photos, pictures, post and photos by Ineta McParland, random thoughts, reflections, self concept, self-confidence, self-image, thoughts, women, wonderocity

Camouflage

I did it.  My friends did it.  Lots of women still do it.  Men do it, too.  All creatures, animals and birds do it all the time.  They camouflage themselves in their environment.  They hide to escape predators; they hide to save their lives.  A lizard’s skin tone suddenly resembles rustic fallen leaves on the ground.  Squirrel’s fur color is exact like palm tree’s or any tree’s bark.  Robin lifts up his head resembling a tree leaf.  Insects become the same color as surface they land on.  It’s a trick of survival, matter of life and death situation.

Now you probably asking, “What animals and we have in common?” We don’t need to hide from predators.  This does not make sense.  Or does it?

Looking deeply in ourselves, we’ll find we do camouflage.  The only difference among animals and us is that camouflage saves and protects animals, but it has an adverse reaction to us.  To some degree or another, we all have “a fit in” disease, and could be detrimental to our self-image, self-identity and even our health.

All of us probably heard or said to others “Oh, I like your outfit.  Where did you get it?”  Let’s admit it, we like to wear the same or similar clothes as others wear.  Even fashion magazines compare the real designer clothes to bargain look-a-likes, that anyone can “afford.”  By “fitting-in,” we camouflage our individuality, our individual tastes.  We blend in with others, by avoiding to be different.  We wear the similar hairstyles, similar jewelry, similar shoes.  We even “copy” movie stars.  Our justification is that now we look like famous people, or perhaps even better.

Don’t get me wrong, though.  Some of us try really hard to be different, but our society is set up this way that we look at those people who are different as outcasts, odd, strange and eccentrics.  Why can’t we accept them as normal human beings celebrating their differences and individuality?  They just try to express themselves of who they are and not what society wants them to be.  Better yet, why can’t we express unique ourselves in our clothes, our style full-heartedly and would not be judged and not judge others who do the same?  Why can’t we just celebrate our differences?

Secondly, beauty is everything for many of us.  We do everything we can to stay thin, young and beautiful.  Some of us go to the extremes to have plastic surgery, to go under the knife, just to become a beauty from outside.  That’s a form of extreme, another form of camouflage.  We want to fit-in a beautiful world around us, among beautiful friends in a beautiful society where media plays a huge role in changing “ugly ducklings” to beautiful swans, or showing never-aging actors and actresses.  Whatever happened to beauty from inside?  Whatever happened to intelligence and creativity and resourcefulness  as great qualities? Whatever happened for giving respect to older people who proudly are showing their age and wisdom?  It seems that all of this is forgotten.  All forgotten of what is important.  Outside beauty, no matter what way is achieved, no matter how many times going under the knife is all that matters.  To me, that’s a camouflage under the mask.  Shockingly enough, still physically not developed teens go under the knife to get breast implants.  Everything is just for an image, so they would fit in among beautiful people.  All of this fake beautification is just a mask.  What people do not realize is that no matter if person is the most beautiful from outside, if he or she does not have a high self-esteem, no boob job or face lifts will be good enough.  They’ll feel horrible anyway.  The first thing what they need fixing is their self-esteem.  If they are proud of who they are, they’ll not need plastic surgery to make them fake beauties.  Here is an idea for the media: how about a show portraying how people can be beautiful from inside.  There are many everyday heroes doing great deeds.  They don’t need to hide under fake masks.  They are beautiful all around.  It’s what inside that matters, and no makeover will change that.  Then maybe our children will learn more valuable lessons in life.

The third camouflage is not that noticeable, but it is as destructible.  Many of us don’t even know or notice it until it is too late, and we get easily lost.  We camouflage ourselves among family, at our work, at our endless the same over and over again schedule, earning that dollar to pay the bills.  We get easily stuck in the same routine over and over again.  We become what everyone expects us to be: a great wife, great husband, a breadwinner, excellent employee or manager, great mother, great father…  We start to become people-pleasers at no matter what price.  We take care of all of the world, and become what world expects us to become, but we never truly find the time to take care of ourselves.  We get so involved in the same routine over and over again.  Days, months, years go by very quickly, and we lose ourselves in every day life.  We lose ourselves.  Period.  Then, if we’re lucky enough, we wake up one day.  Many of us are not that lucky.  But if we are, we start asking ourselves, “Who am I? What do I like? What I’m here to do? I did everything for everybody, how about me?  What do I want in life?  What do I want to accomplish for myself?” We hit identity crisis.  When our children grow up and move out, or if marriage did not work or spouse died, many of us start to feel empty.  We gave all to others, and nothing is left for us.  Some of us hit the bottom and get depressed.  But some of us are lucky to still have time to re-discover ourselves.

Life is too short to be unhappy.  So let’s be happy for who we are.  Let’s wear clothes and hairstyles that express our individuality and makes us comfortable.  It’s OK to be different.  Let’s not follow the crowd.  Let’s be proud of who we are, not hide behind fake masks of plastic surgery.  Let’s be proud of our gray hair and wrinkles that show our wisdom acquired by age.  Let’s find the time for ourselves to do what we want to do in our lives, and learn and accomplish more, and be proud of who we are.  It is great to be imperfect.  Nature is imperfect.  That’s why it is so beautiful.  We do not need to hide from predators like animals do.  Therefore, let’s open ourselves like rose opens it’s bud and show the world who we truly are.  Let’s come out of camouflage.

For inspiration to be different and self-expressive, you can log into Dalia Koss Unique Jewelry where you’ll find stunning one-of-a-kind pieces that no one has.  You can express yourself with her art pieces in the most unique ways.    Shoerazzi.com brings you the best of the best in shoes, all in different styles.  Here you’ll see celebrities and people on the street wear them portraying their unique style.  living on impulse is all about life-style, adventures, living life you can only dream of, unless of course you decide to live it yourself.

Be yourself and inspire others to be themselves as well.  World is too boring when people want to be the same.

Tags: beauty, being different, camouflage, clothes, creativity, fit-in, fit-in disease, health, individuality, inspiration, intelligence, life, opinion, outfits, people, people-pleasers, personal, photo and post by Ineta McParland, photos, pictures, plastic procedures, re-discover, reflections, relationships, routine, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-identity, self-image, survival, thoughts, women, wonderocity