Posted by ineta on Jun 30, 2010 in
being creative,
being powerful,
persistence 
We get a brilliant idea; our faces light up; we think of end result; we get excited; and then we let it go. Or, we start on the idea, and then we never finish. Or, we consult with others, and let others to put us down.
Why is it we let it go so easily? Why we give up? Why we do not go all the way?
There might be five main reasons:
1. We think of others first (responsibilities);
2. We listen to critics, including ourselves;
3. We are afraid of consequences (good or bad);
4. We have too much on our plate;
5. We procrastinate.
Would it be great if we would go for that brilliant idea? Would it be great to finish what we started? Here are solutions:
I know, responsibilities come first when we think of others. Did we ever thought that we are important, too? We are important and worth everything. So, if we wish to work on the idea, we got to learn how to say “no” to people or situations that get in the way.
We share our idea with somebody. That person starts to criticize. Do we listen to them and stop, or we persist on our idea? Also, we can be the worst self-critics. Our minds can kill any idea with “what ifs”: what if it is a bad idea and it would be a waste of time? what if…, etc. In any case, we should ignore critics and fire our self-critic and go for an idea, no matter what.
Third obstacle is fear. We might be afraid of consequences. It also comes with “what ifs”. Think about this… Would we rather make an idea work, or would rather let it be in our mind and do nothing about it? I would say, better to try it, then later regret the chances we did not take. Then we see that somebody came up with the same idea, and we beat ourselves down why we did not do anything about it. The fear also might be of success. It’s unfamiliar territory. We are afraid of what we do not know. We are worth of every success. We got to think of the end result, how much we can contribute not only to ourselves, but to others. That will keep us going.
Next, we might have too much on a plate. We multi-task, but do not achieve anything. We think of all these things to do; we get overwhelmed and end up not finishing anything. At these situations, we got to look at one project at the time, one step at the time. Do most important things or even the hardest things first. Look at most difficult jobs as challenges and go for them.
The last is procrastination. We think we’ll do it tomorrow, but when tomorrow rolls in, we focus on different things and we entirely forget our project. We got to focus on our target NOW and back it with ACTIONS. Do it right now – no ifs about it.
Tags: art, consequences, critics, drawing by Ineta, fear, friends, how to finish what we started, inspiration, life, multitasking, opinion, people, personal, post and photo by Ineta Mcparland, procrastination, ramblings, random thoughts, reflections, relationships, responsibilities, self-critic, thinking of others, thoughts, wonderocity, working on idea
We, shy people tend to hide from the world. We do not want anybody to notice us. As if, we want to hide in our shells and never come out. That’s severe form of shyness. Some of us do come out, but as soon as we start to feel uncomfortable, we hide again. Then some of us are occasional shyers. We are shy only on certain occasions, usually in unfamiliar environment. Some of us are so good that we are great examples of camouflage – nobody notices when we come in. We could turn invisible.
Why we are the way we are? How to overcome it? First, we got to go to the core of it. Why we are shy?
It is all based on fears:
1. We are not good enough;
2. Others might laugh at us, criticize us;
3. We are not worth the attention.
Why we choose to feel that way? It probably started in our childhood when somebody said to us that we can’t do something; we are not good at it; we look ugly; we are not talented enough, etc., etc. So, deep inside we believed them and it unconsciously went into adulthood. We continue carry that with us, and we might not be aware of it. We started to believe that’s who we are: incapable and not worthy. We stopped to trust ourselves, and be incapable to trust others for seeing “real” us. When we say “I am shy,” – that’s what we project and we make up excuses not to do anything that’s uncomfortable because we are shy.
So, How to overcome shyness? How to become confident and even brave?
1. Forget what somebody said in childhood. It happened in the past and the past is gone.
2. Who cares what others think. Do it anyway and keep doing it.
3. Tell your own self-critic to shut up.
If you feel uncomfortable, do it anyway and repeat it until you feel comfortable. Practice is the best medicine for shyness. Change your words and mentality. Instead of “I’m shy,” tell “I’m confident” or “I’m brave” and believe it. You’ll feel better instantly. What you feel inside, that’s what you’re projecting to the world. Think of others. If they only knew the “real” you and how much you can contribute to others and the world. Show them and don’t wait another minute. Share yourself with others. You’ll be surprised how many like-minded individuals out there who totally will understand you. Some great geniuses never were known because of their quietness and shyness. Go ahead! Show the world what you got! You were too silent too long.
There still might be people who will criticize you. Do not pay attention to them. Do it anyway. They’re dealing with their world in their own way. If people will laugh at you, laugh with them. You might totally confuse them. Do not be afraid to laugh at yourself either.
Personally, I make games of uncomfortable situations. If somebody laughs at me when I dance in the car, I think at least they’re having fun now. I dance even more. If somebody looks at me with my wind-blown hair because I drive with open windows, I smile at them. They smile, too. I felt uncomfortable to speak in public. I made myself do it until I felt comfortable. I like to catch people completely by surprise. I like to challenge myself by putting myself in uncomfortable situations. By doing that, my shyness evaporates.
What is uncomfortable to you? Go do it. Repeat it until it will become a piece of cake. Then go to the next challenge. Little by little… Learn how to laugh at yourself and have fun with it. If somebody will not going to like it, it’s their problem.
See my blog about 3 types of people here: doers-critics-and-someday-ers
Need help with public speaking? See my article here: how-to-be-brave-in-public-speaking
Tags: being brave, childhood, confident, critics, fears, inspiration, life, lifestyle, opinion, overcoming fears, overcoming shyness, people, personal, philosophy, photos, pictures, post and photos by Ineta McParland, reflections, self-confidence, self-critic, self-esteem, self-help, self-improvement, shyness, thoughts, training, uncomfortable situations, wonderocity
