Influence

Interesting how people change their personalities in different circumstances.  I see some of people I know as fun, genuine, interesting, free, happy.  And then I see them with their partners in completely different demeanor.  They turn into shy, quiet, afraid to look into the eyes and say anything people.  Then, I’ve seen the sweetest and gentle people turn into obnoxious, boisterous, rude ones once with their friends.

How easily we give in into other people’s influences.  Do we want to “look cool” among friends?  Are we afraid what our partner may think if we will be who we really are?  Maybe we will be ridiculed if we say something wrong?  So, that’s why we turn quiet.  Are we who we really are with our partner, who we are with our friends?

Many of us depend on other person’s opinion.  We may turn ourselves into something we are not, just to be liked, or approved, or to avoid the fights.  Is this really a way to go?  Can we be real us in all the circumstances, no matter what?  What if really does not matter what other people think?  Can we be ourselves, then?  What if at the beginning of friendship or relationship we would be who we are, and not “put face on” just to please a partner, would it be so much easier?  Do we afraid somebody might not like us for who we are?  I would say, “So what?”  If friendship and relationship is not meant to be, it is not.  At least, we would not be forced later on to become who we  really are not; or at least, we would not be shocked that person we fell in love turned out completely different person we thought.

Tags: afraid, beginning, behavior, being ourselves, changing personalities, circumstances, demeanor, dependence on other opinions, family, friends, friendship, influence, inspiration, life, love, opinion, partnership, peer influence, peer pressure, people, personal, personalities, picture, post and photo by Ineta Mcparland, put face on, questions, ramblings, random thoughts, real us, reflections, relationship, relationships, thoughts, what people think, wonderocity

Being Imperfect

Many of us are striving to be perfect.  Some of us go to the extent to have cosmetic procedures to look younger, to have a straight nose, tummy tuck, eyebrow lift, etc., etc.  Oh, we just want to look so perfect.  Yet some of us try to mold ourselves according other expectations, even though that’s not true nature of us.  Many of us try our best to be a perfect person.

What is perfect anyway?  Who and what defines perfection?  Is it another person or society or peer pressure?  Does any other person knows better what is best for us?  Do we have to rely on others opinion to know who,what or how we want to be?

Personally, I think perfection is boring.  If you are perfect, there is no room to learn anything.  Why do you want to be like someone else, having somebody’s nose or lips, or having the same mindset?  Why to become somebody that is not you?  Why to put a mask on physically or in actions and thinking?  The reasons most likely are:

1.  Somebody or someone will like us or love us more

2.  We would fit in according someone’s expectations

3.  Our self-esteem will rise

I think, it’s a bull crap.  If you are in that kind of relationship (1 and 2), get out now before he or she will turn you to zombie.  It means they are looking for somebody else, not you, that fits their mold.  If it’s #3, no matter how many plastic surgeries you’ll have,your self-esteem will remain the same, and you’ll turn into plastic alien who can’t live without pain pills.

Being imperfect is exciting.  Look at the rose.  It has thorns, but it has the most gorgeous and fragrant flower.  Imperfections in stones makes them unique.  All the nature is imperfect.  That’s what it makes it so beautiful.  The same with people.  Imperfection makes us all unique, one-of-a-kind and extra-ordinary.

Can you imagine how boring world would be made of perfectly beautiful people who look all the same and act in a perfect robot-like manner?  Imperfection makes a world more interesting, and fun.  Let’s celebrate our unique ourselves, and not let anybody try to change us, according to their expectations.

(For self-esteem, read my article at how-to-overcome-shyness-or-how-to-be-confident-and-brave)

Tags: beauty, being imperfect, being perfect, boring, culture, expectations, fitting mold, inspiration, interesting, life, mask, nature, one-of-a-kind, opinion, peer pressure, people, personal, philosophy, photo, picture, plastic procedures, post and photo by Ineta Mcparland, reflections, relationships, self-esteem, thoughts, unique, women, wonderocity