Recently I met my new friend. We talked for hours, walked in a drizzling rain, went to the beach in the dark. We had a great time and conversation.
In talking with her, I realized how far I came. My attitude towards everything has changed. Like the saying goes, “Do not look for me in the past. I am not there anymore.” It rings so true to me.
I realized all the struggles I been through in the past only made me stronger. The people who treated me unfairly are no longer in my life. Some things that I would be dead serious about before, just made me laugh. I know what I want and nothing will stop me.
By talking to my friend, I glanced into my past and right now. I came a LONG way. Wow! I am not afraid of little setbacks anymore. It only makes me stronger. Setbacks are just a little building blocks that goes to the top of the castle of our dreams come true.
By summing up all our conversations about life and people, an enormous gratitude filled my heart. I am grateful for:
1. My family and friends. You are truly amazing, each one of you!
2. My health. Where I was and where I am now – HUGE difference!
3. My pets who give an unconditional bundles of love and joy.
4. A peace in my heart. Forgiveness plays a huge part.
5. My self-confidence. Gosh, even my back is straight and I see clearer.
6. My cheerfulness and positivity. A simple smile makes the whole difference not only for me, but for others.
7. My creativity and curiosity. I LOVE making ordinary into extraordinary, to challenge myself to see in creative ways.
8. Challenges. They teach me lessons and test me how strong I’ve become. It builds a character, so bring it on. 
9. New opportunities that unexpectedly present themselves.
10. LIFE. I cherish every minute that I am alive!
What are you grateful in your life?
Tags: family, friends, fun, gratefulness, health, inspiration, journal, life, lifestyle, me, opinion, past, people, personal, photo, picture, post and photo by Ineta Mcparland, random thoughts, reflections, relationships, self-confidence, thoughts, women, wonderocity
Posted by ineta on Jan 4, 2012 in
starting over Happy New Year! It is a new beginning. Like Winfrey Oprah said, “another year to make it right.” The thing is that we go through changes many times: it could be at a beginning of the year. It could be after some drastic event happening, like changing a job, losing someone, divorce, kids go to college, retirement, marriage, moving to a new place, etc., etc. There is also a saying that major changes usually happen after 7 years.
Lately, I and my friends are going through major life changes, too. So, how to cope with that? How to make changes fun? First of all, I found the greatest thing to do is to get rid of crap. Through many years, we collect so much stuff. Some things we liked before, we do not like it anymore. Get rid of it. Our tastes change. We have so many e-mails that we did not even read, subscriptions that we ignore. Delete and throw away. If we take pictures, some pictures seemed nice before. Right now they’re mediocre – delete them or save them on DVD. There are clothes that we did not wear for years – donate, give away or sell them. There might be some unfinished projects or writings that we never get to finish, or lost interest in them – throw it away.
Also, not only we got to get rid of old, worn, unfinished stuff, but also the same goes with mental stuff. All negativity out – to open a new space for positivity. There might be some people that hurt us in the past. Don’t you wish that some of them would have a “delete” button? We can do it in our mind: we got to forgive them and let it go. Because if we are mad or upset, we only hurt ourselves – let go of anger and hurt.
Or, here is a brilliant idea: Use these feelings to make you go higher. Sometimes anger or being upset gives us a motivation to succeed. We can channel those feelings to make ourselves only better and stronger. If somebody said, “You’ll fail,” just say, “Watch Me” and strongly believe that you can do anything you wish and do it.
Also, while we clean old or bad energy out of our lives, we open doors to new opportunities. The thing is that in this process of getting rid of the stuff, the new ideas come. In working on these ideas, we got to communicate with people. That’s how we start something new and exciting.
Moreover, we shall not take on a new crap. If people do not treat us right or be negative, we have every right to walk away or change a subject. We do not need their negativity in our lives. Let’s surround ourselves with friends that lift us up, inspire us, and encourage us. No more drama and no bullshit. Also, no more excuses.
Tags: friends, Happy New Year, how to cope with a change, how to make space for new, how to start over, inspiration, journal, life, lifestyle, major life changes, new beginnings, opinion, past, people, personal, photo, picture, post and photo by Ineta Mcparland, ramblings, random thoughts, reflections, relationships, self-confidence, self-esteem, starting over, thoughts, women, wonderocity
“Go Big,” my brother suggested when I told him about my project idea, the book I started to write. These simple words moved me. The idea of being big was simmering in my mind just in the morning. And there were those words again, “Go Big.”
This got me thinking. How many of us play a small game? How many of us play big? How do we regard ourselves? If we think we are small and insignificant, that’s what we give and therefore that’s what we receive in the world. We play a small me part, what we think of is mostly about ourselves. Sure, our dreams might be big, but as long as we concentrate only about ourselves, we will not going to go far.
So, how can we shift our perspective? How can we live a bigger than ourselves life, play a bigger game?
First, let’s start from foundation that we built for ourselves. All our life up till now made who we are today: our lessons, our tribulations, our victories, our difficulties, our winnings. Whatever it was, we got to make a peace with our past: forgive, get rid of the stuff we no longer need. Recently, I got rid of my journal writings that do not serve me anymore. I think I kept them, so I would prove something to somebody. I do not need to prove anything. As I tore those pages, my heart became 100% lighter. We do not need our past weighing on our shoulders and definitely we do not need to carry them someplace in the drawer tucked in. We got to make a peace with our past and with ourselves. If not, this stuff will haunt us in our future decisions and might stop us in the tracks. We do not need that to go forward. (To help deal with it, you can read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and look into Landmark Education. These are incredible resources.)
Next is to go for the dreams – no matter what. Dream as big as we can dream of. What’s the point of dreaming if you cannot dream big, right? Dreaming alone will not get us anywhere, though. We got to ACT on them. Little by little, day by day, step by step – Act on the dreams. Do not be afraid of failure. Failure is just a stepping stone for something coming up great. Need inspiration for action? Read Failing Forward by John C. Maxwell. This will help you to be brave all the step of the way.
These two steps mentioned above are just a prep for a third and the most important step of going Big, Huge, Gigantic: We got to INVOLVE as many people as we can – small people, big people and everything in between. We cannot accomplish anything just by thinking small (all about ourselves). As soon as we open the doors to others, help others, give others – we will start playing a bigger game – a world game. Do we want to make a world a better place? Let’s share our passions with it. Can you imagine a world full of passionate people? We have so much to give. Why are we keeping all to ourselves? We owe the world to show who we are, to help as many people as we can. By helping others, we’ll help ourselves. Let’s think for a moment in simple ways: when we smile, others can’t help but smile back. We water our flowers, and they smile back by giving us the most gorgeous blossoms. We give a kind word to a stranger, their smile makes us feel good, too. Universe works in mysterious ways. The key to giving is not expect anything in return, but universe also gives it back as long as we are open in receiving. Without expectation, we may be rewarded in other ways least expected.
So, let’s sum it all up. Let’s get rid of the last pains, make a peace with our past. Let’s build a new foundation of now and future by dreaming and DOING BIG! Let’s involve and help as many people as we can. Let’s think on worldly terms. (Advanced Course of Landmark is a great resource of that).
Deepak Chopra, Tim Ferris, John Assaraf and other great authors are HUGE because they help tons of people. Why am I any different? It is a time to play a BIG GAME.
Tags: act on dreams, actions, Advanced Course of Landmark Education, big dreams, book authors, books, change, communication, dreams, Eckhart Tolle, education, Failing Forward, how to start over, how to write a book, inspiration, involving, John C. Maxwell, Landmark education, life, mind, new opportunities, past, personal, photos, pictures, post and photos by Ineta McParland, reflections, self-confidence, self-improvement, starting over, The Power of Now, thinking, thoughts, wisdom, wonderocity, world, world a better place, worldly terms, writing, writings
Posted by ineta on Nov 8, 2010 in
change The only constant is change. Yet we resist change with all our might. We afraid of it like a bad case of flu. We fight it, we deny the reality, we put the blinds on the change.
What if instead of resisting, we embrace change. What if we would accept what is happening with us? What is resistance anyway?
Resistance is a being afraid. It is filled with darkness, fears, anger, victim-hood and unhappiness. Resistance is looking back to the past, to the familiar and known. It locks us up in the box within our past experiences. There is no freedom in it. It only allows us to see what we already know, a known comfort. It prevents our growth and learning.
Acceptance, on other hand, is a first step towards the change. It is intermediary. Acceptance lets us to go on, gives us an opportunity to glimpse in our future, the first steps to take. It opens us to the whole new world of possibilities. Acceptance comes from the place of love, lightness and courage. It is feeling of the present. It is like an open canvas. It is up to us to fill it with colors we want.
What if we’d go about the day or week accepting everything in our life? It might be a struggle at first. If resistance creeps in, lets accept it, too. Let’s acknowledge it, and be present to it. Let’s see how it feels. It might be a knot in a stomach, a headache, sleeplessness. Now, let’s feel it, accept it and let it go. Letting go is like taking that huge stone out of our chest. We’ll feel so much lighter. Now, let’s see what is opening up to us? What colors we will use in our present and future? We are masters of our life.
Tags: acceptance, change, courage, embracing change, fear of change, fears, future, growth and learning, health, inspiration, life, masters of life, now, open canvas, opinion, past, personal, philosophy, photo, picture, present, random thoughts, reflections, resistance, thoughts, wonderocity
Posted by ineta on Oct 4, 2010 in
love,
wisdom When we look at the mirror, what do we see? Do we see tiredness, sadness, wrinkles? Or do we see happiness, enthusiasm, smile? Do we see pain and struggles? Or do we see sparkling energy and love?
Now, let’s look at the outside world. What we notice first? How we relate to people? Do we see them struggling or being successful? Do we encounter sadness or happiness?
Usually, our inner state reflect our outside world. What we choose to concentrate on, that’s what we see. What we feel inside, that’s what we feel and see around us. That’s why it is so easy to feel empathy for people who are going or went through similar situations that we did. We can feel their pain or joy. Now, if somebody is going through entirely different experience that we never been through, we will not understand it; it will feel odd to us.
We are all conditioned by our past, good or bad and by what we know. We’ve been through ups and downs and sideways. We view our world through our past experiences, what is familiar to us. If we been through pain, we view our world through pain. We encounter people who are going through the same pain. Sometimes pain becomes anger, hatred and revenge. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. We want the person who hurt us to be hurt. We want them to suffer the same way they made us suffer. Where does it get us, though? Like Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” It does not do anything good, except it causes more pain.
Now, if we would concentrate from a place of love and compassion, no matter of circumstances, the outcome would be completely different. We would start caring for each other. Instead of war, there would be peace. Instead of hatred, there would be love. One man can make a world of difference. Let that be us. Gandhi is one of many examples. He saw peace for India; he stood for his beliefs and by being himself, he reached seemingly unattainable.
So, how about instead of wrinkles, let’s see lines of wisdom. Instead of tiredness, let’s see rest. Instead of sadness, let’s consciously smile more. Instead of struggles, let’s imagine our dreams come true. Instead of pain, let’s fill our hearts with love. Love does conquer it all. If we change our outlook in life and see our world through new open possibilities, we will change our life for the better. Let’s reflect goodness from our hearts into the mirror of outside world and make a difference now.
Tags: anger, compassion, empathy, energy, enthusiasm, family, friends, Gandhi, happiness, health, inner state of mind, inspiration, joy, life, love, mirror concept, new beginnings, new possibilities, opinion, outside world, pain, past, people, personal, philosophy, photo, picture, post and photo by Ineta Mcparland, random thoughts, reflections, relationships, sadness, smile, struggles, thoughts, tiredness, wonderocity, wrinkles
Posted by ineta on Sep 23, 2010 in
starting over How many times do we make trips to our past? Ah, memories. Some of them are sweet, bring a smile to our faces, warm our hearts. “Those were the good old days, ” we sight. However, for some of us the past was not that sweet. We cringe even thinking about it. It haunts us like a bad nightmare. We carry it with us like the heaviest baggage; or we bury those memories in the back of our minds. We lock them and we loose the key. Our minds shut it off and we forget, until something triggers, and we find ourselves in pain again.
What to do with this haunting hurtful past? How to make it all to go away? How to start a new?
To go on, we need to make a peace with our past. It is not easy. It might take a moment, months or even years. We got to be ready for it. It is something we can not push it. It depends what eats away at us, and severity of it. Possibilities could be:
1) regrets;
2) sorrow;
3) people
Regrets usually come equipped with “what ifs.” What if I would have done it differently? Each of us have different experiences in our lives. If we chose to be one way, that means we were not experienced enough to make different choices back then. We all make mistakes. That’s what is learning all about: it gives us lessons and new experiences. Now we know better from it. We cannot change our past, only now and the future. Because of those mistakes, now we can make better choices which we should be grateful for. There is no use to have regrets about our past decisions, when we can make a better ones now.
We lose someone we love, or someone leaves us. In our lives, people and pets come and go. Instead of concentrating of losing them, we should be grateful that they were a big part that touched our lives. We should feel fortunate to know them and love them. Each person and animal leave a footprint in our hearts, and we are better because of them.
Then, we meet people who hurt us, betray us, even in some cases abuse us. These memories could linger for the longest time if we let them. It keeps hurting us when we look back as if it is still happening now. That’s where a beautiful thing comes in – being in control of our minds. We can stop our memories at any time. Bad thoughts and remembering do not serve us. It only gives us a headache. Anger does not serve us either; it only hurts us. Each person we meet bring something to us: lessons needed to be learned, a cause of being a stronger person, new experiences. We might not seen it then, but after time, we can find the reasons why we encountered these people, no matter what painful experiences we had. The key to these negative situations is to never feel like a victim. Going back and remembering is like putting ourselves in “victim” mode over and over again. Now there will be a time where remembering will not affect us that anymore – then the true healing begins.
We all have our minds. Therefore, we can choose to have thoughts. If we choose to be angry, depressed, resentful, we only hurt ourselves with our thoughts, and we may even reflect that on our loved ones and not be aware of it. Now if we choose to make a peace with our past, knowing that past stays in the past, and we only can change now and future, we open ourselves to new possibilities and experiences. We know that we do not need to make the same mistakes again and let anybody treat us badly. We can start a new without heavy baggage of our past.
Tags: anger, depression, healing, health, how to go on?, how to let go, how to make a peace with your past, how to make peace with past, hurtful past, hurting, inspiration, life, love, men, opinion, past, people, personal, philosophy, photo, picture, post and photo by Ineta Mcparland, random thoughts, rants, reflections, regrets, relationships, resenting, sorrow, suffering, thoughts, what ifs, women, wonderocity
Posted by ineta on Jul 9, 2010 in
being positive,
starting over 
Everyday we are governed by our thoughts. Our thoughts project our reality. The thoughts transfer then into actions, whether we are aware of it or not.
First, where does our thinking come from? What it is based on? Why we think the way we think? Most of it consist of what we read, what we heard, what we learned. Most of our thoughts are based on our past, that is familiar to us. That’s why it is so hard to break away from mistakes we keep making. We fall into the same trap, being aware of it or not.
For example, why some women or men fall repeatedly into abusive relationships? Unconsciously, that’s familiar to them. They do not know any better. Why it is so hard to break bad habits? We think, we always done it that way – our mind keeps us hostage. Why we keep our job even though we hate it? – it is familiar. We justify that we got good insurance, great benefits, but each morning comes and we dread to go to work. Days become years, and we are stuck being unhappy. Some days are better than others, but deep inside we know we deserve better – yet we do not do anything about it.
We want to change so badly. We promise ourselves “some day,” yet we keep going like the mouse in the wheel, and we get nowhere.
So, how to get unstuck? How to re-condition our minds to go where we want to go, to achieve what we want to achieve? How to get away from the past?
How about if we keep our past just for a reference to keep the lessons we learned? That’s it. As for present and future, let’s step into unfamiliar zone as often as possible. What we think is what our reality is.
Another example: If we think we cannot find our eyeglasses, we will search everywhere, even though they’re in our hand. Now, if we concentrate in finding them, then we’ll find them instantly. The same is with life. If we think, we cannot do something, we’ll not even going to try it. Now, if we think we can do it, we might end up doing it better than we previously thought. We might surprise ourselves. We got to step into unfamiliar, do new things, think in different ways – to recondition our minds that we can do anything we desire.
If we are stuck in abusive relationship, first, we got to change our mentality that we are worth only the best, and either stand up for ourselves or leave, or both. In some instances, we might need help in that. No person should be ever abused.
If we want to break free from a bad habit, we got to imagine us to be healthy, successful, honest, etc., whatever it might be, opposite from a bad habit – and condition our minds to take action toward it.
If we hate our jobs, think of this, “Life is too short to be unhappy, ” and take actions to change it. We may need to save up for our new venture, or still work there until our hobby will take off to full time venture. However, with our goal in mind we can now tolerate our jobs because we know it is only temporary. Or, if we’re prepared, we can quit now, and go after our dreams now without waiting.
The key is to shift our minds and think positive. We got to keep our minds on the target goal and go for it even it is not familiar or we’re afraid. That’s where thinking positive comes in. When we think positive, we are not easily let down and we see end results and go for them no matter what. Sure, there might be things in the way, but with our shifted positive thinking, we can think outside the box and find solutions. It’s all in our minds whether we can or cannot do. Let’s choose, we can do it and act on it now.
Tags: abusive relationships, actions, bad habits, change, changing jobs, getting unstuck, How our minds create our reality, how to break bad habits, inspiration, life, past, personal, philosophy, photo, random thoughts, re-conditioning our minds, reflections, reletionships, thinking, thinking positive, thoughts, trap, wonderocity
Posted by ineta on Apr 24, 2010 in
being brave,
self-confidence,
starting over 
What are you afraid of? What do you want to conquer? Who or what you want to be, but your fears keep you hostage?
There are so many phobias out there. Some of them are reasonable, and some of them are not. Some fears are for your own protection; it’s your instinct for survival. It’s great to have these fears. If it comes from instinct or hunch, these fears should never be ignored. It’s your inner knowing that something is not right. You should act on your instinct. Reaction to them usually is to fight or flee. Do what your inner knowing tells you to do. It’s great when that kind of fear keeps you on your toes.
Then, there are fears that are unreasonable. You don’t know why, but you afraid of something. These fears keep you from functioning normally in every day life, keeps you away from achieving something, keeps you dead in the tracks. Examples include fear of public speaking, fear of heights, fear of swimming, fear to succeed, fear of unknown, etc., etc. You want to achieve something, but these fears keep you away from what you want. If only you would overcome them, life would be so much more fun.
To get rid of the fears, first we have to look at deep roots what caused them. Perhaps,
1. Something scared us in the past;
2. We are scared of consequences. (Example: afraid to look foolish)
3. What others might think. (this is huge)
We might come up with different reasons. Or, we might not even know what causes our fears.
In these situations, most of the time our mind is our enemy. We will think of different consequences and reasons not to do what we want: we might fall from the sky, the bug might bite us, we may drown, we may faint, we may die, etc., etc. If only we let our mind to come up with different conclusions, it will. We will tremble and will not achieve a thing. The key to these situations is to consciously shut out thoughts, dismiss them as ridiculous.
The only thing we should concentrate on is the end result. Instead of “I’m afraid,” tell yourself “I can do this.” Do not look at it as fear. Look at it as a challenge, a game to play. Then use your imagination how your life would be if you would conquer this challenge, if you would win at this game. You might make a difference in delivering a powerful speech, you might be able to swim with dolphins, to be able to travel on airplanes like many people do, to go on adventures, etc., etc. Imagine the whole possibilities and make yourself do it what challenges you the most. Then, repeat it again and again until your mind will register it’s OK, and conquering a challenge will become a second nature to you. Practice makes it easy. You can win at this game – you better believe it. Mind is powerful. We just need to know how to consciously use it.
For more help with public-speaking, see how-to-be-brave-in-public-speaking.
Tags: afraid, being brave, challenge, consequences, end result, fear of heights, fear of public speaking, fear of swimming, fear of unknown, fear to succeed, fears, fight or flee, how to be brave, How to overcome your fears, hunch, inner knowing, inspiration, instinct, life, lifestyle, overcoming fear, parasailing photo, past, personal, philosophy, phobias, photo, post and photo by Ineta Mcparland, protection, reasons, reflections, scared, self-confidence, self-esteem, speech, survival, the way of thinking, thinking, thoughts, wonderocity
Posted by ineta on Apr 22, 2010 in
change,
self-confidence,
starting over 
There are many things in life that depend on our decisions. Actually, I think, all life is made up of decisions. The life we lead now is based on our past choices.
How do we choose? Do we go for the best, or we settle for second best because it was cheaper, easier to get, or more practical? Or, we don’t settle at all? Do we satisfy our heart’s desires and risk it all, or we just make decisions to get by? What do we base our decisions on anyway?
It could be on:
1) Our past experiences;
2) How much do we think we worth;
3) How much we can get away with;
4) or the combination of above.
If we base our decisions on familiar – the past, we might be getting ourselves in the same situations over and over again and not learning anything new.
If we base our decisions on how much we are worth, it all depends. If we value ourselves and we think we are worth the best, we risk everything to get only the best. If we are not sure how much we are worth or when we put others first, we are more likely to settle with mediocre choices. We can live with it because it was a bargain and our guilt level is lower. Now, if we think we are not worth it, we will play it “safe.” We usually leave empty-handed, and we let others to make a decision for us. Other people go first, and we go the last, which brings to the third option.
We base our decisions on how much we think we can get away with. This exemplifies a dependence on other person how much we can make him or her mad. We depend on other person’s opinion. If we can get away without telling them about the decision, we can risk it. It depends if they will find out and how much in trouble we will get.
The best way for most of the time to make a decision is to go into unfamiliar territory. This way we might learn something new, and less likely make the same mistakes. Second, always go for the best. We’ll never regret the best decisions even if we need to pay more, got to work on it harder, or it is more fancy. If our heart is set on it, we should get it no matter what – never settle for less. Third, we should always believe in ourselves and trust our own instincts. We all live our own lives. We are who we are. Everyone of us lead different lives and have our own points of view. If something does not feel right, we should trust it. We should not depend on others for our own life. We are the kings and queens of our own castle – our lives. We know the best what is good for us.
Now, if we want to change something in our future, we can always make different decisions NOW.
Tags: choices, decisions, dependence, going for the best, inspiration, learning new, life, making choices, making decisions, opinion, past, past experiences, personal, philosophy, photo, picture, post and photo by Ineta Mcparland, random thoughts, reflections, thoughts, trusting instincts, unfamiliar territory, wonderocity, worth
Everyone of us are powerful. Some of us express it more than others. I’m not talking about having a power over others. That’s dominance, and not powerful at all. I’m talking about being powerful in making your dreams come true, inspiring others, leading a great life that you always wanted to have. Being powerful is to be true to yourself and others, no matter what. Some of us may argue: but I do not have resources, I have no luck, have too many responsibilities, etc., etc. I tell you this: outside circumstances has nothing to do with it. It is what inside of us that matters – our own thoughts, and following actions.
What prevents us from succeeding? What prevents us from being powerful?
Here are 3 main things:
1) We put ourselves in the box;
2) We let others to put us in the box;
3) combination of 1 and 2.
How do we do that? By limiting thoughts. Who we are? Do we really know? What are we really capable of? What those boxes consist of? – We usually limit ourselves of what we can and cannot do. We base our decisions usually on our past, on our fears, on our limitations of our mind – that’s what the boxes are made of. Or, likewise, we let others set for us what we can and cannot do. Our mind is made up of our own thoughts. If we set our mind up that we cannot accomplish something, for sure we will fail. Now, opposite is true. If we set our mind to find the way, sure enough we will think of a solution (outside the box) and we will find the way. Our mind is powerful. Our mind can come up with infinite possibilities if we only going to let it. We can think in multi-dimensional ways that we never thought of. The key is not let the box – the past, the fears, limitations- to get in the way. Other key is not to let other people to control your thoughts and actions and to be aware when that occurs. Sometimes, other people try to influence you not out of bad will. That’s just their way of being. Or, you trained them that way by being a person they think they know. You can always re-train them when you are aware of it.
There is always a solution for everything. To find it, you got to be powerful and think outside the box. Powerful Now consists of powerful thoughts and actions. How can you be powerful today, right now?
Tags: box, expression, family, fears, friends, great life, infinite possibilities, inspiration, life, limitations, limiting thoughts, making dreams come true, multi-dimension, opinion, past, people, personal, philosophy, photo, picture, post and photo by Ineta Mcparland, powerful, powerful actions, powerful thoughts, reflections, relationships, self-limitations, stay true, thinking, thinking outside the box, thoughts, wonderocity
