How to Overcome Shyness? or How to be Confident and Brave?
We, shy people tend to hide from the world. We do not want anybody to notice us. As if, we want to hide in our shells and never come out. That’s severe form of shyness. Some of us do come out, but as soon as we start to feel uncomfortable, we hide again. Then some of us are occasional shyers. We are shy only on certain occasions, usually in unfamiliar environment. Some of us are so good that we are great examples of camouflage – nobody notices when we come in. We could turn invisible.
Why we are the way we are? How to overcome it? First, we got to go to the core of it. Why we are shy?
It is all based on fears:
1. We are not good enough;
2. Others might laugh at us, criticize us;
3. We are not worth the attention.
Why we choose to feel that way? It probably started in our childhood when somebody said to us that we can’t do something; we are not good at it; we look ugly; we are not talented enough, etc., etc. So, deep inside we believed them and it unconsciously went into adulthood. We continue carry that with us, and we might not be aware of it. We started to believe that’s who we are: incapable and not worthy. We stopped to trust ourselves, and be incapable to trust others for seeing “real” us. When we say “I am shy,” – that’s what we project and we make up excuses not to do anything that’s uncomfortable because we are shy.
So, How to overcome shyness? How to become confident and even brave?
1. Forget what somebody said in childhood. It happened in the past and the past is gone.
2. Who cares what others think. Do it anyway and keep doing it.
3. Tell your own self-critic to shut up.
If you feel uncomfortable, do it anyway and repeat it until you feel comfortable. Practice is the best medicine for shyness. Change your words and mentality. Instead of “I’m shy,” tell “I’m confident” or “I’m brave” and believe it. You’ll feel better instantly. What you feel inside, that’s what you’re projecting to the world. Think of others. If they only knew the “real” you and how much you can contribute to others and the world. Show them and don’t wait another minute. Share yourself with others. You’ll be surprised how many like-minded individuals out there who totally will understand you. Some great geniuses never were known because of their quietness and shyness. Go ahead! Show the world what you got! You were too silent too long.
There still might be people who will criticize you. Do not pay attention to them. Do it anyway. They’re dealing with their world in their own way. If people will laugh at you, laugh with them. You might totally confuse them. Do not be afraid to laugh at yourself either.
Personally, I make games of uncomfortable situations. If somebody laughs at me when I dance in the car, I think at least they’re having fun now. I dance even more. If somebody looks at me with my wind-blown hair because I drive with open windows, I smile at them. They smile, too. I felt uncomfortable to speak in public. I made myself do it until I felt comfortable. I like to catch people completely by surprise. I like to challenge myself by putting myself in uncomfortable situations. By doing that, my shyness evaporates.
What is uncomfortable to you? Go do it. Repeat it until it will become a piece of cake. Then go to the next challenge. Little by little… Learn how to laugh at yourself and have fun with it. If somebody will not going to like it, it’s their problem.
See my blog about 3 types of people here: doers-critics-and-someday-ers
Need help with public speaking? See my article here: how-to-be-brave-in-public-speaking
