Seeing Miracle Continues
I can’t thank enough my brother Markus Urban and author Jacob Liberman, O.D., Ph.D. for giving my eyesight back (see my previous post). It feels so incredible! Each day, I feel spurs of joy when I start seeing something new. A few nights ago, for the first time I saw a Big Dipper, and the sky filled with the brightest stars. I see more and more stars now. All without my glasses! Even nights became brighter. Now, I started to see smaller street signs, numbers on mail boxes, a menu board at Starbucks. Each new seeing is a victory. According to the eye chart, I went from 20/200 to 20/30 in two weeks. Now into 2 and a half weeks, I read 20/25 line, and saw 4 letters in 20/20 line. I left my eyeglasses and I did not put them on since I started this journey. I even drove through a little fog and in the rain day and night without glasses. Interestingly, rain made my vision even more clearer.
My vision is not constant yet, but I have longer and longer periods of great seeing. One blink – I see everything absolutely clearly, another blink – it becomes a little blurry (but nothing like it used to be), a third blink – all clear again. When outdoors and in the car, I see it better than being inside in the artificial light. Sometimes, I see double or triple, but with adjusting blink it goes to normal again. When that happens, I think it would be neat to capture what I see on the camera: like a triple moon or a handsome double guy. LOL! It all depends on light, my mood, my thoughts, how I react to people’s conversations. If a person is stressed out, I find myself putting blur blinds because I feel that person’s energy, and I do not like it. If the person is excited and enthusiastic, my vision becomes really clear. The same is with my thoughts. If I get excited, the vision becomes really clear. If I start to worry about something, the blur comes back. The blur is not like used to be, though. I used to see only fog. Therefore, when I would get up, I would automatically put glasses on. Not anymore. When I wake up, in the first minutes, my vision becomes clearer and clearer (especially in the last few days, as at first it would take 15 minutes to half an hour for vision to clear). Also, if I stress to see, it does not work. If I relax and breathe, I see so much better. Interestingly, the faces I start to see are so smooth. Still have a hard time to see them in a distance, but I’m working on it. Again, outside I see them so much better than inside in the low light.
This experience is unbelievable, and I am determined to have a perfect vision. I can’t believe I do not need glasses and contacts anymore. Without glasses, I feel as if somebody lit up my world. It is not everything about my vision either. The whole outlook changes. I feel like I am peeling blur layers one at the time.
First layer of blur is fear. Some people are afraid to try this. How can anybody go out in the world when all they see is blur? Self-doubt sets in. “What ifs” will boggle the mind. I dove into this experience straight without any doubt. If author could do it, so can I. Bravery, determination, and persistence came into my world.
Second layer of blur is self-constriction and staying in the known. Some people think, “It is great for you, but I’ll wear my glasses anyway. I just got my new prescription.” Although it was unfamiliar to me, I had no doubt I’ll succeed. I opened doors widely to a new possibility of seeing, and I am succeeding. Freedom came into play. If I just breathe and relax, I see better. If I stretch, freely dance, I see better, too. When I dance, I express myself more through freeing motions. I feel music with all my senses. I let it flow through every fiber of my body.
Third layer of blur is a “wall of protection” (that’s huge for me). To be safe, we often do not take chances. When people hurt us, we start not to trust anybody. We build a wall. It is all about our thoughts and emotions. Early memories might flow in, the way we felt before we needed glasses: What we did not want to see, could not see a way out, did not understand. I used to be really shy. I did not trust anybody, including myself. So, it might be one of the reasons why I had difficulty to see faces. Right now, I’m re-framing my mind and the faces I see are so soft. They become more clearer each day. All it takes is to be open.
Life is incredible and I love seeing it without constricting glasses, fears, and self-limiting beliefs. I want to see more, experience more, touch and feel more. My self-expression is wide open. Anything is possible, even a miracle of seeing, if we persist and really believe.
See how it all started: Seeing Miracle
See my latest update here: Mind over Body
