Posts tagged "journal"

It is interesting how life comes in a full circle.  My very first job was working in the movie theater.  I absolutely loved it.  I knew every movie that came out, who was playing in it.  I went on breaks to watch tidbits of them, and on my days off I would go and see them whole.  At Oscars, I would have seen most of the movies that were nominated.

I never realized back then that some day in a movie theater on a big screen, there would be my name in the credits.

Things come our way sometimes unexpectedly.  If we just follow our gut feeling trusting ourselves, we get rewarded.  There might be some obstacles on the way or sacrifices we make, but if we follow that inner knowing, it pays off generously.

Last year, my friends asked me to help out with the film, to do a still photography.  As I read a heart-warming script, I had a good feeling about it.  At the same time, our horse got sick and we lost him.  Besides hard times and schedule, I shot the scenes and making of the film, nonetheless.  But once there, I put all my heart into it.  After shooting, I spent countless hours in selecting, editing and e-mailing pictures to producers.

During filming, I fell in love with characters, especially Grandma Jini and a 4-year old Kian.

Once I was there, I was totally immersed in the making of the film.  I found the whole process fascinating.  So much detail goes into the scene:  a proper light, sound system, camera settings, scene and location setup.  It was incredible.

My most favorite scenes were beach shots.  Always love natural light.

Appearance of actors was really important as well:  every clothing ironed, every wardrobe piece selected, constant make-up, powdering and curling the hair.  Every detail was important as much as a location setup.

My most favorite part was to get into actors’ world:  feel every feeling they feel in acting, see every motion – to be one of them and capture those moments that really matter.

Seeing Kian’s and Grandma Jini’s love and their embrace melted my heart.

To find right angles, to capture the right feeling, the right body language – to give a great feel and bring a viewer an intriguing curiosity is my key.  Seeing tears of missing Grandma when Kian grows up, sweet memories of contemplation when Kian gets older had me lost in a moment as if it was happening for real.

I love to capture life.  Therefore, in capturing the scenes, I put myself right there with the actors sensing everything they portray.

Being part of the crew, I watched every intense moment of making a scene just right.  It was just like being in two worlds at the same time:  being one with the crew and being one with the actors.  I loved to capture each moment in filming, loved to capture the crew working and having fun in between.

What drew me to this film was a heart-warming storyline.  “A Lot in Common… shared memories” was written by Grandma Jini herself.  Jacqueline Serrano, Dayle J. Hoffman and Ralitsa Koleva were producers.  Jini Mount and Kian are real life grandma and grandson and the parts of the film were a real-life story.  This film will be a part of a family’s treasure.  I could watch this film over and over again and still have tears in my eyes.

“A Lot in Common” was selected at Sarasota Film Festival in 2012.  I loved being a part of this film, meet amazingly talented actors and crew and to shoot the priceless moments in it.  It was an amazing experience.

Running? Me? Who could ever thought?

Last week, I started something new.  When my friend Sandy and I went to Celery Fields hill, I saw 2 little kids and their mother running down the hill.  They had smiles on their faces, having a great time.  I thought for a moment, when was the last time I run?  I remembered my high school years when we used to run short-distance and long 2 km distance.  I was a pretty good runner in a long distance.  We even used to run in the snow.

So, I handed my camera to Sandy and I took off downhill.  Climbing up hill was not challenging enough, so I upped my game.  I run uphill 2 times.  My heart pounding, the wind in my hair, I felt ALIVE!  I was smiling ear to ear!  I put my arms in the air and at that moment I decided I want to get fit.  I want to be strong.  I want to feel alive!  … And I’m keeping my word.  I came back to the hill again.  I also run in my neighborhood.

In running, I became more aware of my surroundings.  Even my eyes became so much clearer, and this clear vision right now is staying for prolonged time. Before, my vision was a bit blurry, then clear, a little more blurry and then clear, and so on.  It was going from 20/40 to 20/25 most of the time.  Right now, even after finishing running, in this past week I can feel my vision stays clearer longer than usual.  And when I see 20/20, every leaf on the tree, I become ecstatic. WOW!  By running, I see beautiful front yards of neighbors.  Today, I saw a swing on a tree.  I see birds on a roof or flying by.  I hear hawk screaming.  My senses become alive.  My heart pounds, I breathe hard, then I start walking and later running again.  I become so aware of everything.  Even I pick up senses of flowers or blooming trees.  Oh, what a great fragrance!  It is so great to feel ALIVE!

Wow!  I just read some benefits of running.

6 benefits of running

I found this article helpful, too:

For Beginner Runners

Another great form of exercise and self-expression is dancing.  I danced this weekend, too.  My muscles were sore the next day, but it was so much well worth it.  My friends and I had such a great time.  Here is something I wrote awhile ago about dancing: What is your dancing style?

Photography is an incredible art that allows us to live in the present moment.  It fills us with wonder and amazement at the simplest things.  With photography, we capture that fleeting moment that otherwise would be easily forgotten or even unnoticed.  When capturing our world, we turn the ordinary into extraordinary.  We paint with light and make it a masterpiece.  Photography allows us to be curious and see and feel more.  It turns our world into canvas that we can fill with beautiful images, using our imagination.

Photography is like living with an open heart.  We open our hearts to the beauty in the world: flowers, smiles, pretty faces, beautiful fashion, nature, sunsets, loving couples.  We also capture a beauty of determination, beauty of age, beauty of standing up for something.  Each person, animal, bird, creature have a special feature, a special characteristic that is only unique to them.  A patient and aware photographer can capture that essence, that moment that usually escapes an ordinary eye.  In photography, each moment, each motion, each emotion is priceless.  A picture has to have a meaning, has to tell a story.  Words might be unsaid, but it must be felt within the heart.

Great photographer is a body language reader.  It takes lots of patience with people and as much with animals.  With elusive wildlife, there should be a trust established, honoring enough space, stillness and quietness.

Capturing that particular moment does not end there.  There is also an editing part: working with the picture like a painter.  Finishing touches are as much important to enhance the features that further tell a story.  In the past, I stayed away from editing part.  However, right now I find it exciting.  It is another creative way to love what I do.  When I edit, I feel like I am an artist creating a masterpiece on canvas.  Picture becomes like a precious painting of mine.  I still leave some photos alone.  If there are some imperfections, I let it be.  Nature is imperfect.  That’s why it is so beautiful.

Photography is a tireless teacher.  Not only it teaches us to look more closely, to examine things, to learn about our subjects and world around us.  It also teaches the techniques and tricks of the camera.  Knowing camera well can turn a darkness of the night into masterpiece full of magic.

Photography stops us in the tracks to admire what we choose to capture.  It is an outlet of living our lives fully, moment by moment, capture by capture.  It is an incredible way to feel alive, to see beauty with our eyes and to feel magic within our hearts.

Recently I met my new friend.  We talked for hours, walked in a drizzling rain, went to the beach in the dark.  We had a great time and conversation.

In talking with her, I realized how far I came.  My attitude towards everything has changed.  Like the saying goes, “Do not look for me in the past.  I am not there anymore.”  It rings so true to me.

I realized all the struggles I been through in the past only made me stronger.  The people who treated me unfairly are no longer in my life.  Some things that I would be dead serious about before, just made me laugh.  I know what I want and nothing will stop me.

By talking to my friend, I glanced into my past and right now.  I came a LONG way. Wow!  I am not afraid of little setbacks anymore.  It only makes me stronger.  Setbacks are just a little building blocks that goes to the top of the castle of our dreams come true.

By summing up all our conversations about life and people, an enormous gratitude filled my heart.  I am grateful for:

1. My family and friends.  You are truly amazing, each one of you!

2.  My health.  Where I was and where I am now – HUGE difference!

3.  My pets who give an unconditional bundles of love and joy.

4.  A peace in my heart.  Forgiveness plays a huge part.

5.  My self-confidence.  Gosh, even my back is straight and I see clearer.

6.  My cheerfulness and positivity.  A simple smile makes the whole difference not only for me, but for others.

7.  My creativity and curiosity.  I LOVE making ordinary into extraordinary, to challenge myself to see in creative ways.

8.  Challenges.  They teach me lessons and test me how strong I’ve become.  It builds a character, so bring it on.

9.  New opportunities that unexpectedly present themselves.

10. LIFE.  I cherish every minute that I am alive!

What are you grateful in your life?

People come and go.  Some of them touch our hearts, some of them break them.  Some people come into our lives to give certain lessons.  Some people test our nerves, test how strong we become.  Yet with some people, it feels that we have known them for years.  We can talk to them for hours, and never gets boring.  It seems that they are our soul friends – people who are traveling a similar path.

If we look at our friend circle and people we meet, do we feel empowered?  Or do we feel drained?  Do we feel enthusiastic?  Or do we feel victimized?  How our friends make us feel?

This year, I decided to sort my friends out in a personal life and on social media.  Animal abusers or animal hunters for fun, people who demean women and others are not acceptable in my world.  I had to un-friend some on Facebook.  In personal life, I had to let go of some people as well.  People with chronic victim mentality only drains’ others’ energy.  They are real downers and not willing to change.  Some people just do not deserve to be in our lives.  If they put us down or belittle us, we can choose to let them go.  I did that, and my life became lighter.

Note:  if mentally we are still mad on them, they still have a control over us.  Therefore, forget, forgive and let it go. By being mad, we only hurt ourselves.

I choose to surround myself with people who are amazing, creative, inspiring and empowering.  Yes, we all go through life’s hard stuff.  We all have our stories.  However, if some people choose to complain about it and do not do anything, it is a downer not only for them, but also for us.  We do not need to get into other people’s dramas.

Life is all about going higher and achieving our dreams.  Let’s surround ourselves with people who empower us to be the best.  Let’s be the best for others, too.  Let’s inspire one another.

Happy New Year!  It is a new beginning.  Like Winfrey Oprah said, “another year to make it right.”  The thing is that we go through changes many times:  it could be at a beginning of the year.  It could be after some drastic event happening, like changing a job, losing someone, divorce, kids go to college, retirement, marriage, moving to a new place, etc., etc.  There is also a saying that major changes usually happen after 7 years.

Lately, I and my friends are going through major life changes, too.  So, how to cope with that? How to make changes fun?  First of all, I found the greatest thing to do is to get rid of crap.  Through many years, we collect so much stuff.  Some things we liked before, we do not like it anymore.  Get rid of it.  Our tastes change.  We have so many e-mails that we did not even read, subscriptions that we ignore.  Delete and throw away.   If we take pictures, some pictures seemed nice before. Right now they’re mediocre – delete them or save them on DVD.  There are clothes that we did not wear for years – donate, give away or sell them.  There might be some unfinished projects or writings that we never get to finish, or lost interest in them – throw it away.

Also, not only we got to get rid of old, worn, unfinished stuff, but also the same goes with mental stuff.  All negativity out – to open a new space for positivity.  There might be some people that hurt us in the past.  Don’t you wish that some of them would have a “delete” button?  We can do it in our mind:  we got to forgive them and let it go.  Because if we are mad or upset, we only hurt ourselves – let go of anger and hurt.

Or, here is a brilliant idea:  Use these feelings to make you go higher.  Sometimes anger or being upset gives us a motivation to succeed.  We can channel those feelings to make ourselves only better and stronger.  If somebody said, “You’ll fail,” just say, “Watch Me” and strongly believe that you can do anything you wish and do it.

Also, while we clean old or bad energy out of our lives, we open doors to new opportunities.  The thing is that in this process of getting rid of the stuff, the new ideas come.  In working on these ideas, we got to communicate with people.  That’s how we start something new and exciting.

Moreover, we shall not take on a new crap.  If people do not treat us right or be negative, we have every right to walk away or change a subject.  We do not need their negativity in our lives.  Let’s surround ourselves with friends that lift us up, inspire us, and encourage us.  No more drama and no bullshit.  Also, no more excuses.

This is a time to stop and think about what we are grateful for.  For me the list is HUGE not simply in words, but in feelings, too!!!

I am thankful for my life and health.

I am thankful for my family and friends who are INCREDIBLE in every way. Thank you for being You!

I am thankful for my family who are true inspirations full of courage, determination and so much love.

I am thankful for our pets who always warm our hearts and make us smile.

I am thankful for wildlife that cause me by surprise and leads me on curiosity trips.

I am thankful for every magical moment I see everyday: from diamond sparkles on the leaves and flowers after the rain to a sunset that takes my breath away.

I am thankful for challenges that life throws in order to let me think creatively.

I am thankful for my creativity to see and feel things.

I am thankful for moments of inspiration from people, books, and life.

I am thankful for freedom of my heart and thoughts.

I am thankful for great wisdom teachers who challenge to see life in a heart-felt way.

I am thankful for my fans who cheer me on and see the beauty of life the way I do.

I am thankful for all the love I feel within my heart.

I am thankful for all the artists who make a world more beautiful with their creations.

I am thankful for music that lets my heart sing.

I am thankful for having a courage to let go of things that do not serve me anymore.

I am thankful for a new space I am creating for new possibilities.

I am thankful for an incredible future that will come because I know what I want.

I am thankful for nature how it always refreshes me and makes me wonder and gives me an inspiration.

I am thankful for every day, hour and minute I live.

What are you grateful?

Have an awesome Thanksgiving, my family and friends!!!!  Sending you lots of love!

While going to the shop today, I noticed a young man jump from his car across the street by red light.  He went in front, picked up a wood piece (probably with a nail in it), run to the sidewalk and put it down, so nobody would have their tire damaged.  The wood was to the side of his car, not in a way of his way of going.  It was so kind of him to think of others.

Not everyone notices simple acts of kindness of others, but these kind people are among us.

When we open our hearts and minds, we think of others’ well-being, and the world becomes a more beautiful place.

How can we be kind to others today?

This is a third day after we lost our Thoroughbred Tango (Congressman).  He was the sweetest horse in the world with the biggest eyes that melted everyone’s hearts.  He was a gentle spirit with the biggest appetite.  He lived to be 25 years old.

Tango had a racing name Congressman and he was a winner in the races.  His grandfather is Mill Reef – a Century Horse, and his father was a Champion, named Diamond Shoal.

We are not sure about what happened after his racing was over, but he was abandoned, and my mom adopted him and nursed him back to health.  We had Tango for 10 years until 3 days ago when we lost him to cancer.

We do have another horse a Dutch warm-blood Princess Adora, who is grieving with us.  She spent most of her time with Tango.  When we buried Tango, Princess was running and calling him.  She stood at exact spot where we buried Tango and tried to dig him out.  Who says animals have no feelings.

Losing Tango was a huge heartbreak.  It still is.  Our bodies were hurting, and our hearts were heavy.  It felt as if a huge stone was on our chest.  No wonder, we carry our beloved horse in our hearts. <3

When we found Tango laying on the side, we did not know how terminal it was.  Therefore, we were fighting with all our might for his life.  He fought, too.  While waiting for a vet, we tried to sit him up at least.  He brought his head up a few times, but then he went down again.  Tango was incredible.  He still had a huge appetite.  He drank some water and had food and some alfa alfa hay.  We tried to keep him as much as comfortable as we could, not giving up.  We persisted, he persisted, too.  Unfortunately, his body did not cooperate.

At the end, he was tired.  After vet came, she informed us that he is in toxic shock because of cancer.  That’s why he can’t get up.  No matter how heart-broken we were, we had to learn to let go of him.  Our love for Tango was most important thing, and we did not want him to suffer anymore.  Persistence, love and letting go were our lessons.

Losing Tango changed me a bit.  It gave me a different perspective in life.  I realized how precious each moment in life is.  We should cherish every minute of it.  Family and friendship, a connection one to one can’t replace anything in the whole world.  Helplessness (while waiting for vet and not be able to help Tango) is the most frustrating and scary feeling and I do not want to go through that again.  To have an open mind to look for different solutions is very important.

We lost Tango and our hearts expanded for more love.  There is a space that opened up for new possibilities, for cherishing life and for what is most important.   And for some things, it is time to let them go…

When we came to the ranch yesterday, we saw the most incredible gigantic heart in the sky.  Perhaps Tango sent his love to us. <3  We love you, Tango.  You always will be in our hearts.

Trust that little voice in your head that says “Wouldn’t it be interesting if…”  And then do it.” ~ Duane Michals, “More Joy of Photography.”

This powerful quote says it all.  In photography, if we trust our inner knowing, we can create magic.  We can capture what we see in most unusual ways.  It gets us creative, it fills us with imagination, and we capture that wonder in our beloved photography.

Here are some photos I captured following my inner wonder:

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would shoot an incredible sunset reflected in theater’s windows?

Here is the magical result.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would shoot sunset reflections in a far away building with my zoom lense?

A building becomes alive with a golden beautiful light.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would align the sun with crystals?

The beautiful necklace by Dalia Koss becomes full of crystal magic.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would align fishing Great Blue Heron with Super Moon’s pathway?

Even though I was tripping in the dark going down the slope, I had a vision in my heart and went for it.  This picture in my Flickr was overnight sensation, totaling 1000 views per night.  Right now, it has over 2,000 views.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would catch a sunlight in my fingers?

Magic catch.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would align the sunset colors with a spider web?Here is a colorful spider web palate

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I will integrate my friend Sandy in art?

Sandy becomes a part of statue. Art Deco.

Sandy becomes a part of painting.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would capture sunset through the window from inside the house?

The door window becomes enchanted.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I align a sunlight with our Princess Adora?

Princess becomes an angel.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I will capture Princess through my car’s reflection?

The capture makes an interesting composition.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I will try to capture moon through the blinds?

Here is a result.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would align a crow statue against decorative lamp?

It becomes like fairy tale: a crow against the moon.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if we would take our cameras while parasailing?

The view was spectacular!

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would shoot rain drops on my back car’s window lighted by the car behind while waiting by the red light?

Rain drops become hundreds of hearts.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would “train” a dragonfly to stand on my finger while taking a picture with another hand?

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dragonfly the Acrobat!

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would align a sunlight on the dragonfly’s wings?

Golden Magical Dragonfly.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would come really close to the Brown Pelican, and snap the photo?

The light was incredible.  Brown Pelican trusted me to come closely.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would capture the wave from the low point?

Getting a close up.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would use a light post for support because I did not have a tripod with me for this night shot?

It is great to improvise!

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would take this photo of sand castle against sunset and include a person to show the size?

Here is a dreamy dragon beauty.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would include a sunset and shoot this castle from the ground?

Picture becomes magic.  One woman yelled at me because according to her, I took the best spot.  It was my idea all along and after me, a few people started to follow my low point of taking picture.  Love to inspire people.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would see what is inside this rock?

Here is a result.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if I would shoot a sunset through my car’s mirror?

I was standing by red light.  Love to use these waiting moments for my advantage.

So, what would you see if you would follow your inner knowing, “Wouldn’t it be interesting if…?” Go shoot the magic!

Wish you lots of creativity!