Posts tagged "healing"
How to make a peace with your past?
How many times do we make trips to our past? Ah, memories. Some of them are sweet, bring a smile to our faces, warm our hearts. “Those were the good old days, ” we sight. However, for some of us the past was not that sweet. We cringe even thinking about it. It haunts us like a bad nightmare. We carry it with us like the heaviest baggage; or we bury those memories in the back of our minds. We lock them and we loose the key. Our minds shut it off and we forget, until something triggers, and we find ourselves in pain again.
What to do with this haunting hurtful past? How to make it all to go away? How to start a new?
To go on, we need to make a peace with our past. It is not easy. It might take a moment, months or even years. We got to be ready for it. It is something we can not push it. It depends what eats away at us, and severity of it. Possibilities could be:
1) regrets;
2) sorrow;
3) people
Regrets usually come equipped with “what ifs.” What if I would have done it differently? Each of us have different experiences in our lives. If we chose to be one way, that means we were not experienced enough to make different choices back then. We all make mistakes. That’s what is learning all about: it gives us lessons and new experiences. Now we know better from it. We cannot change our past, only now and the future. Because of those mistakes, now we can make better choices which we should be grateful for. There is no use to have regrets about our past decisions, when we can make a better ones now.
We lose someone we love, or someone leaves us. In our lives, people and pets come and go. Instead of concentrating of losing them, we should be grateful that they were a big part that touched our lives. We should feel fortunate to know them and love them. Each person and animal leave a footprint in our hearts, and we are better because of them.
Then, we meet people who hurt us, betray us, even in some cases abuse us. These memories could linger for the longest time if we let them. It keeps hurting us when we look back as if it is still happening now. That’s where a beautiful thing comes in – being in control of our minds. We can stop our memories at any time. Bad thoughts and remembering do not serve us. It only gives us a headache. Anger does not serve us either; it only hurts us. Each person we meet bring something to us: lessons needed to be learned, a cause of being a stronger person, new experiences. We might not seen it then, but after time, we can find the reasons why we encountered these people, no matter what painful experiences we had. The key to these negative situations is to never feel like a victim. Going back and remembering is like putting ourselves in “victim” mode over and over again. Now there will be a time where remembering will not affect us that anymore – then the true healing begins.
We all have our minds. Therefore, we can choose to have thoughts. If we choose to be angry, depressed, resentful, we only hurt ourselves with our thoughts, and we may even reflect that on our loved ones and not be aware of it. Now if we choose to make a peace with our past, knowing that past stays in the past, and we only can change now and future, we open ourselves to new possibilities and experiences. We know that we do not need to make the same mistakes again and let anybody treat us badly. We can start a new without heavy baggage of our past.
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