Posts tagged "friends"

I love to take pictures, but when it comes to take pictures of me, forget about it. I don’t think so… Or it used to be.

When I look at my younger photos, I look shy, like being caught, feeling uncomfortable. I hated to pose, so that’s how I came out in the pictures: frozen in time – frozen literally. Then of course comes self-criticism and oh, I could be the best self-critic. Just don’t get me started.

Sounds familiar? Usually what stops us are outside or our inner critics. And we can always stop them, especially our self-critics. All others can think whatever they want.

So, one day I decided to change all that – I decided to overcome my camera shyness. I thought how can I relax in front of the camera – in unfamiliar territory? At first, I put my camera on a self-timer and snapped some photos. I felt uneasy and somewhat ridiculous, but I overcame that. I just completely ignored my self-criticism. Hey, in this Facebook age, many people take self-portraits. Right?

Then I made a game out of it. Whenever my friend Sandy and I go out on photoshoot, first I take shots of her. Then, when she asks to take pictures of me, instead of declining, I agree. Instead of standing frozen, I make different poses. I encourage my friend to do the same. Posing is actually fun when we use our imagination. It gives us freedom and creativity. When we are flexible in posing, the pictures come out great. They show our wild side.

Using props are great, too. If none is available at the time, we can find anything in nature, like palm tree branches or tall grass at the beach.

Here is Sandy at the beach among tall grass.

I find candid shots are the greatest. No posing required. When we act normally without seeing camera present, we come out naturally.

Actually, now to take photos is fun: behind and in the front of camera. It is a great game to play. All those advices: you got to look pretty and photogenic, wear lots of make-up is not a real solution. Don’t need any of that as long as we:

1. Make fun poses and be creative;
2. Use any props available
3. Shoot candidly

So, next time anyone will ask you to say “cheese,” make it a fun game.  Bring your wild side out. The rest is easy.

There is a fine line between being alone and feeling lonely.  Yet, some people think it is the same.  When we are single, our friends constantly want to “fix us” up with somebody.  We are not broken.  They think, we are alone; therefore, we must feel lonely.

Being alone is a physical state.  It might be a transitional phase when we choose to have a time to ourselves.  It might be a time when we need to heal, or we do not feel like having a relationship right now.  Either way, we choose to be that way.  We are comfortable in our skin.  We are self-reliant and independent.  We just enjoy to spend time alone and in the process we grow stronger.  We get to know ourselves better, our wants and needs.

On other hand, feeling lonely is a state of mind.  It is a state when we do not know ourselves well enough; therefore, we are not comfortable.  We can have somebody next to us and still feel lonely.  When we feel lonely, we depend on somebody for our own happiness; we rely on somebody to tell us who we are.  We are not comfortable in our skin.  Therefore, we long for somebody to fill that gap, to show our best when the answer lays in our own hearts.

How to heal loneliness?  The thing is when we are not happy with ourselves, nobody will bring happiness to us.  At first, it might appear that way, but it is an illusion, and it will be a short-lived.  To cure loneliness, we got to find our passions, our loves, what makes our heart sing.  We got to re-discover ourselves and pursue our dreams.  When we are comfortable in ourselves and when the time is right, we might meet someone who will compliment us.

A Star…  What comes to your mind when you think about it?  Sure, there are stars at night…  What else?  How about Movie Stars, Star Athletes, Rock Stars, You Tube Sensations, famous artists, etc.? We all look up to our role models.  We want to be just like them, or we just admire their talent and creativity.

Now, can we think of ourselves as Stars?  Can we become one?  Do we want to become one?  For those who say “No,” why not?  The reasons will pour, “Have no resources, no time, being too old, too young, too late, not good enough, kids is priority, too broke, nobody sees our potential, and many more.  These reasons are just butts.  The stars we look up to are just ordinary people leading extraordinary lives because they chose to follow their dreams.  Most of us did not see their struggles, their rejections, their failures.  We only see their successes.  Everybody started from somewhere and for most of them it was not easy.  The breakthrough came when they stuck with their dreams no matter what.  They persisted and they won.

So, can we be Stars? Do we see our family and loved ones as Stars?  Some of us already are.  We just do not look at it this way.  For example, my Mom Dalia Koss is a famous jewelry designer whose creativity is never-ending.  Her unique jewelry are not only works of art, but women feel renewed and rejuvenated when they wear Dalia Koss jewelry.  Many women ask why jewelry feel so good and so comfortable to wear.  The answer is Dalia puts her heart and loving touch into her creations.  That’s why they feel magical.

Photo courtesy of daliakoss.com

My brother Max Spiker is a star extraordinaire.  He is not only a world traveler, he is an inspiration to everybody.  He touches everyone’s life with his love, passion, generosity, giving, wisdom and creativity.  He does everything with open heart and expanded mind.  I am so lucky to have brother like him.

His girlfriend Ashley at Shoerazzi.com is a Shoe Princess.  With her insightful and creative blog, she satisfies every shoe-lover’s desires.  Ashley is giving, kind, smart and really passionate.  It shows brightly in her work.  She is a Shoe Star.

I am so fortunate to have my Star family.  You probably ask how about me? I put my heart into my writing and photography.  I am work-in-progress Star, I see myself as being published writer and photographer.  My photos are already published in stories, were used for creative artwork, and in the ads and in magazines.  Also, the movie “A Lot in Common – Shared Memories” where I was a still photographer, was selected for Sarasota Film Festival.

How about you?  What Star do you have within that can’t wait to come out? What makes you come alive and gives huge sparkles in your eyes?  What is your passion?  What is in your heart that you wish to share with the world? Who you want to be, no “buts” and “somedays” about it?  Dreams are attainable if we persist.

May you be a  Star because Anything is Possible .  Best Wishes and Thank you for being my reader.

I love Holidays.  Seeing  the streets lit up with Christmas lights, and stores decorated with ornaments just puts me in a cheerful Holiday mood.  Most importantly, this is the season of happy times and togetherness with family and friends.

Yet some of us get stressed out over Holidays.  We have our own reasons for it.  This guide will help you to make through Holiday season with flying colors.

Wish you a season of togetherness, even some of you do not feel like it.

The key is to stick with likeable members and friends.

or to get preoccupied with something important

Confused what to give for Christmas?

Just follow your friends and family closely.

and see what makes their eyes sparkle.  That’s a clue for gift giving.

In all the chaos, shopping, decorating, do not forget to have a “Me” time.

Most importantly, have lots of fun!

And take time to enjoy the moments that take your breath away.

Wish you a joyful Holiday Season filled with lots of love, togetherness and fun.

Love and gratefulness are very synonymous, that it could be used in one word: Lovefulness.  When we love, we are grateful, and when we are grateful, we love.  Love can be romantic, and love can be for family and friends.  Also, love can be for life.  When we have love in our hearts, everything we do reflect that.  We become passionate.  We have a zest for life.  We start to notice small things that matter.  We appreciate many things in our lives, unnoticed before.  Our faces light up, and our hearts expand.  We have a great care for each other.  We even start to see hearts everywhere, unexpectedly:

Hearts in the sky

Hearts in Morning Glory

Heart inside the stone

We can even make our own heart in the sand

A heart between orchid petals

A heart in the flower

Hearts in Bougainvillea

Heart between the tree branches

Even puppy has a heart on her forehead

A heart on Sandhill Crane’s head

A heart within a heart <3

Now have you noticed hearts yourself?  Where?  When we have an attention on love, it represents itself in different shapes and forms.  How does it represent to you?

Happy Thanksgiving, my family and friends!

Wish you a season of plenty, full of joy and laughter.  May your tables be full of goodness, and many leftovers for pets.  May your eyes sparkle with love and passion.  May your hearts be filled with closeness and hugs.  Have the most incredible Thanksgiving ever, my family and friends and Thank You for being Awesome You!

Have a fantastic Halloween, filled with lots of candy!

Have fun being dressed in costumes!

Wear something unusual and unique!

Find mystery after sun goes down!

Find magic in unexpected places!

But do not forget to watch for creepy crawlies!

Watch out for mad squirrels!

and just know you are being watched! Really watched…

Happy Halloween, my friends and family!  Have a great, sweet, creative, happy and somewhat scary day!

Many of us in life get hurt.  Our hearts get broken, and we close ourselves in the shell.  Sometimes we come out of it, and get smacked over the head, and we go back into the shell again.  Some of us stay closed in for the most part of our lives.

In our minds we feel safe, unhurt, comfortable in our shells, so why bother to risk?  Why to risk to get hurt again?  What we do not realize is that by staying inside our shells, we miss out on life big time.  We miss out on new opportunities, new ways of life.  So, how to come out of this shell?  How to stop this vicious cycle?  We got to find out why we are in the shell in the first place.  It could be one or all these reasons:

1.  Our heart is broken and we need time to heal.

2.  We think we are not worth it.

3.  We think we are not good enough.

4.  We do not want to get hurt again.

5.  Any other reason.

If our heart is broken, there is nothing wrong to take time off to heal.  It might take months or even years to rebuild our heart from the scratch.  It is different for every person.  Only we can choose how much time we need.  It is all in our minds.  As long as we do not close ourselves forever, we can take as much time as we have to.  The problem would occur if we choose to be in the shell as our way of life or reason one becomes reason 2, 3, 4 and maybe 5, which are a plain nonsense.  We usually look at outside world for confirmation for who we are.  If we do not know our true selves or we do not see who we are for ourselves, the outside world can give us every stupid opinion.  It can turn us in whatever direction they want, and we believe in it.  If somebody tell us that we are ugly, stupid, fat, idiots, we believe them.  We will start seeing that we are not worth it and we are not good enough, and we will close ourselves in the shell.

Now if we have a firm belief who we are and do not look for acceptance in outside world, no matter who will say anything to us, we will just laugh at them and think they are nuts.

In other way, if we are closed in our shelves, nobody will know who we truly are.  We will not be able to show who we are to others allowing them to make wrong assumptions about us.  When they do, we get hurt because we know it is not true.

The only way out of it is to get to know ourselves and stand our ground and show the world who we are, and get people really to know us.  By sharing us and our gifts with the world, we will not give a chance for people to make wrong assumptions about us.

If we choose to be closed in, we will miss out on the world and the world will miss out on us.  We are too good and too important to hide.

Love…  what a mysterious thing…  We can’t see it, we can’t touch it, but certainly we can feel it within our hearts.  We fall in love, and we fall out of love.  We either afraid to fall in love again, or we try it again.

Why some loves work and some do not?  What is mystery behind it?  What is the secret to a true love?

The formula of a probable failure is:  a perfect picture+expectations+attachment.  When we fall in love, we have a perfect picture in our minds:  they’re attractive, kind, etc., etc.  Then we add certain expectations of how our partner should be.  Our love should be perfect, isn’t it?  Lastly, but not least, we become attached.  We do not want anybody to have him or her; we got to keep them to ourselves.  It feels so good to be together, no friends or family should have them.

What if our partner is not perfect, or change physically, mentally or emotionally?  What if they do not fit our perfect picture and expectations all of the sudden?  What if they do want to spend their time with family and friends?  The fights most likely will ensue.  All of the sudden, that perfect partner is not perfect anymore.  Hearts get broken, and we break up.

So what is the secret to a true love?  There might be many things involved, but for a starter:  let’s take our partner the way they are+no expectations+let them be

Would it be more exciting that way anyway?  A partner always surprise us for who they are.  We do not need to be right and wrong.  We can let them do their own things, as we do our own.  We do not neglect our family and friends.  We share our time with everyone.  We keep a relationship spontaneous and respect each other.  We do not “need” each other to be complete.  We are two individuals traveling the same direction.  This way we are not closed in in our one-sided point of view.  We have two views that expand our world together.  We let each other breathe and let ourselves just be.  What do you think?

When we look at the mirror, what do we see?  Do we see tiredness, sadness, wrinkles?  Or do we see happiness, enthusiasm, smile?  Do we see pain and struggles? Or do we see sparkling energy and love?

Now, let’s look at the outside world.  What we notice first? How we relate to people?  Do we see them struggling or being successful?  Do we encounter sadness or happiness?

Usually, our inner state reflect our outside world.  What we choose to concentrate on, that’s what we see.  What we feel inside, that’s what we feel and see around us.  That’s why it is so easy to feel empathy for people who are going or went through similar situations that we did.  We can feel their pain or joy.  Now, if somebody is going through entirely different experience that we never been through, we will not understand it; it will feel odd to us.

We are all conditioned by our past, good or bad and by what we know.  We’ve been through ups and downs and sideways.  We view our world through our past experiences, what is familiar to us.  If we been through pain, we view our world through pain.  We encounter people who are going through the same pain.  Sometimes pain becomes anger, hatred and revenge.  An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.  We want the person who hurt us to be hurt.  We want them to suffer the same way they made us suffer.  Where does it get us, though?  Like Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” It does not do anything good, except it causes more pain.

Now, if we would concentrate from a place of love and compassion, no matter of circumstances, the outcome would be completely different.  We would start caring for each other.  Instead of war, there would be peace.  Instead of hatred, there would be love.  One man can make a world of difference.  Let that be us.  Gandhi is one of many examples.  He saw peace for India; he stood for his beliefs and by being himself, he reached seemingly unattainable.

So, how about instead of wrinkles, let’s see lines of wisdom. Instead of tiredness, let’s see rest.  Instead of sadness, let’s consciously smile more.  Instead of struggles, let’s imagine our dreams come true.  Instead of pain, let’s fill our hearts with love.  Love does conquer it all.  If we change our outlook in life and see our world through new open possibilities, we will change our life for the better.  Let’s reflect goodness from our hearts into the mirror of outside world and make a difference now.