How to Overcome Your Fears?

What are you afraid of?  What do you want to conquer? Who or what you want to be, but your fears keep you hostage?

There are so many phobias out there.  Some of them are reasonable, and some of them are not.  Some fears are for your own protection; it’s your instinct for survival.  It’s great to have these fears.  If it comes from instinct or hunch, these fears should never be ignored.  It’s your inner knowing that something is not right.  You should act on your instinct.  Reaction to them usually is to fight or flee.  Do what your inner knowing tells you to do.  It’s great when that kind of fear keeps you on your toes.

Then, there are fears that are unreasonable.  You don’t know why, but you afraid of something.  These fears keep you from functioning normally in every day life, keeps you away from achieving something, keeps you dead in the tracks.  Examples include fear of public speaking, fear of heights, fear of swimming, fear to succeed, fear of unknown, etc., etc.  You want to achieve something, but these fears keep you away from what you want.  If only you would overcome them, life would be so much more fun.

To get rid of the fears, first we have to look at deep roots what caused them.  Perhaps,

1. Something scared us in the past;

2. We are scared of consequences. (Example:  afraid to look foolish)

3. What others might think. (this is huge)

We might come up with different reasons.  Or, we might not even know what causes our fears.

In these situations, most of the time our mind is our enemy.  We will think of different consequences and reasons not to do what we want:  we might fall from the sky, the bug might bite us, we may drown, we may faint, we may die, etc., etc.  If only we let our mind to come up with different conclusions, it will.  We will tremble and will not achieve a thing.  The key to these situations is to consciously shut out thoughts, dismiss them as ridiculous.

The only thing we should concentrate on is the end result.  Instead of “I’m afraid,” tell yourself “I can do this.”  Do not look at it as fear.  Look at it as a challenge, a game to play.  Then use your imagination how your life would be if you would conquer this challenge, if you would win at this game.  You might make a difference in delivering a powerful speech, you might be able to swim with dolphins, to be able to travel on airplanes like many people do, to go on adventures, etc., etc.  Imagine the whole possibilities and make yourself do it what challenges you the most.  Then, repeat it again and again until your mind will register it’s OK, and conquering a challenge will become a second nature to you.  Practice makes it easy.  You can win at this game – you better believe it.  Mind is powerful.  We just need to know how to consciously use it.

For more help with public-speaking, see how-to-be-brave-in-public-speaking.

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How to be Brave in Public Speaking? or How to Overcome Fear of Public Speaking?

Most of my life I was shy with little streaks of bravery. Now I find myself mostly brave with little streaks of shyness. So before, talking in public – forget about it – I was terrified. I even skipped a Speech class in college. To go in front of class was a nightmare. My voice was shaking, my knees were shaking; I felt I’m going to pass out in front of everybody. Then, I realized shyness is only state of mind based on fears:

1) fear of not being good enough,

2) fear of being misunderstood (especially when you have an accent)

3) fear of forgetting speech altogether

4) fear of making fool of myself

5) fear of (fill in the blank)

I realized that all the fears only reside in my mind. Of course, if we think we will screw it up, we will. If we think we can not make a speech or speak in public, we can’t. What we think of that will become. Just know this, all those fears are self-made and only is messing up with your mind, and it is not what you think it is. I took Landmark education courses (that I highly recommend to anyone). By the end, I was volunteering to go in front of the class. I made myself do it, no matter how uncomfortable I felt. Of course, a few times, my knees were still shaking, but I felt more confident because I thought what I want to share was of big importance to others. When you forget about yourself and you think of others, it becomes really easy. All those fears are bull crap, anyway.

1) You are good enough.

2) People will understand you (If some of them will not, they can ask questions later if they are not too shy).

3) You will involve people and perhaps will make a difference in their lives.

4) If you’ll make a fool of yourself, so what – at least you and audience will have a good laugh.

5) (Fill in the blank opposite of your fear)

When I talked, people actually listened. They laughed. And some of them told me that I’m inspiration. So, don’t listen what your fears tell you. Stand up confidently because you have something important to say.

Tips for great public-speaking, I learned:

1) Talk from the heart. Hand-written or printed speech that is read in audience does not sound as effective, as you speak it (no matter if you wrote the speech, or not). Example – Tiger Woods read public apology did not sound that sincere.

2) If you forget what you wanted to say – make up as you go.

3) Involve audience – ask audience questions and listen for the answers.

4) Make audience laugh – don’t be so serious.

5) Leave audience with something to think about.

Most importantly, practice makes a big difference. Do it not once, but keep doing it. The fear will go away and you’ll be confident as never before. You are too important to be silent.

Tags: acing speech with bravery, being brave, fear, fear of public speaking, inspiration, overcoming fear of public speaking, post and photos by Ineta McParland, public speaking, self-confidence, speech, tips for public speaking