Posted by ineta on Sep 23, 2010 in
starting over How many times do we make trips to our past? Ah, memories. Some of them are sweet, bring a smile to our faces, warm our hearts. “Those were the good old days, ” we sight. However, for some of us the past was not that sweet. We cringe even thinking about it. It haunts us like a bad nightmare. We carry it with us like the heaviest baggage; or we bury those memories in the back of our minds. We lock them and we loose the key. Our minds shut it off and we forget, until something triggers, and we find ourselves in pain again.
What to do with this haunting hurtful past? How to make it all to go away? How to start a new?
To go on, we need to make a peace with our past. It is not easy. It might take a moment, months or even years. We got to be ready for it. It is something we can not push it. It depends what eats away at us, and severity of it. Possibilities could be:
1) regrets;
2) sorrow;
3) people
Regrets usually come equipped with “what ifs.” What if I would have done it differently? Each of us have different experiences in our lives. If we chose to be one way, that means we were not experienced enough to make different choices back then. We all make mistakes. That’s what is learning all about: it gives us lessons and new experiences. Now we know better from it. We cannot change our past, only now and the future. Because of those mistakes, now we can make better choices which we should be grateful for. There is no use to have regrets about our past decisions, when we can make a better ones now.
We lose someone we love, or someone leaves us. In our lives, people and pets come and go. Instead of concentrating of losing them, we should be grateful that they were a big part that touched our lives. We should feel fortunate to know them and love them. Each person and animal leave a footprint in our hearts, and we are better because of them.
Then, we meet people who hurt us, betray us, even in some cases abuse us. These memories could linger for the longest time if we let them. It keeps hurting us when we look back as if it is still happening now. That’s where a beautiful thing comes in – being in control of our minds. We can stop our memories at any time. Bad thoughts and remembering do not serve us. It only gives us a headache. Anger does not serve us either; it only hurts us. Each person we meet bring something to us: lessons needed to be learned, a cause of being a stronger person, new experiences. We might not seen it then, but after time, we can find the reasons why we encountered these people, no matter what painful experiences we had. The key to these negative situations is to never feel like a victim. Going back and remembering is like putting ourselves in “victim” mode over and over again. Now there will be a time where remembering will not affect us that anymore – then the true healing begins.
We all have our minds. Therefore, we can choose to have thoughts. If we choose to be angry, depressed, resentful, we only hurt ourselves with our thoughts, and we may even reflect that on our loved ones and not be aware of it. Now if we choose to make a peace with our past, knowing that past stays in the past, and we only can change now and future, we open ourselves to new possibilities and experiences. We know that we do not need to make the same mistakes again and let anybody treat us badly. We can start a new without heavy baggage of our past.
Tags: anger, depression, healing, health, how to go on?, how to let go, how to make a peace with your past, how to make peace with past, hurtful past, hurting, inspiration, life, love, men, opinion, past, people, personal, philosophy, photo, picture, post and photo by Ineta Mcparland, random thoughts, rants, reflections, regrets, relationships, resenting, sorrow, suffering, thoughts, what ifs, women, wonderocity
Posted by ineta on Jun 10, 2010 in
being positive 
Our minds are so super-busy, that they would not shut up when we lay down to sleep. They work over-time, like that energizer bunny: keeps going and going and going…
It’s great when our minds work to help us to achieve things, when we get a brilliant idea and go for it. Then sleepless nights are great.
However, what keeps most of us late at night is useless stuff:
1) “I’ll think about it” stuff;
2) Worries;
3) Uncompleted “To Do” lists.
Earlier that day, we see something in the store or online that we really like. We tell salesperson to put it on hold. Then, we rack our brains, “Should we get it? Do we really need it? But it looks so good.”… After thinking, we decide to go back and get it.
Now imagine if we do not need to “think about it” and buy it on the spot. By night, we would enjoy what we bought; we would avoid the aggravation of thinking; and at the end, we would save our time, salesperson’s time and gas. We would have a free mind and be able to sleep at night.
The key is if we like it, we should go for it right now, not later. Why to put our enjoyment on hold?
The most major useless thing that keep us late at night is worry. We worry about major things and minor things. We worry about health, money, family – you name it. Think about it… Does worry do anything good? It gives us headaches, sleepless nights, stomachaches, ulcers, unclear thinking, black circles under the eyes, nervous breakdowns, breathing problems, anger outbursts, depression. Nothing good comes out of worry. Worrying is usually looking at the worst case scenario of the situation.
So, instead of worry (that does not do any good), look at positive and find a solution. Granted, some problems are out of our control – might take awhile to solve. Some things we just have to let it be. However, most problems can be solved one way or another. With little innovation or different way of thinking, there is always a solution.
Instead of filling our minds with worry (that is hazardous to our health and sanity), how about to look at solutions.
To us that are busy-bodies, To-Do list is pretty essential. There are not enough hours in a day to accomplish everything we want. Therefore, the To-Do list is not finished – again. We regret not be able to accomplish it all. So now, we add undone items to tomorrow’s To-Do list, which probably will be unfinished – again. What we do not realize is that we have become over-achievers.
What if we would throw that To-Do list out of the window and concentrate on stuff that really matters to us. What if we do not depend on it anymore? What if instead of multi-tasking and overextending ourselves, we concentrate on one task at the time that is most important? Would life be so much easier?
At the end of the day, then we can breathe easier knowing we achieved what was important to us. It’s great to be imperfect. Without “To-Do” list, there is no more pressure to be perfect – in that, there is a peace of mind.
We got to get rid of the useless junk that clogs our mind. This way, we can make a space for more important stuff, like joy for life.
For more inspiration, you can log in to living on impulse to see what is possible.
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