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How to Overcome Your Fears?

Posted by ineta on Apr 24, 2010 in being brave, self-confidence, starting over

What are you afraid of?  What do you want to conquer? Who or what you want to be, but your fears keep you hostage?

There are so many phobias out there.  Some of them are reasonable, and some of them are not.  Some fears are for your own protection; it’s your instinct for survival.  It’s great to have these fears.  If it comes from instinct or hunch, these fears should never be ignored.  It’s your inner knowing that something is not right.  You should act on your instinct.  Reaction to them usually is to fight or flee.  Do what your inner knowing tells you to do.  It’s great when that kind of fear keeps you on your toes.

Then, there are fears that are unreasonable.  You don’t know why, but you afraid of something.  These fears keep you from functioning normally in every day life, keeps you away from achieving something, keeps you dead in the tracks.  Examples include fear of public speaking, fear of heights, fear of swimming, fear to succeed, fear of unknown, etc., etc.  You want to achieve something, but these fears keep you away from what you want.  If only you would overcome them, life would be so much more fun.

To get rid of the fears, first we have to look at deep roots what caused them.  Perhaps,

1. Something scared us in the past;

2. We are scared of consequences. (Example:  afraid to look foolish)

3. What others might think. (this is huge)

We might come up with different reasons.  Or, we might not even know what causes our fears.

In these situations, most of the time our mind is our enemy.  We will think of different consequences and reasons not to do what we want:  we might fall from the sky, the bug might bite us, we may drown, we may faint, we may die, etc., etc.  If only we let our mind to come up with different conclusions, it will.  We will tremble and will not achieve a thing.  The key to these situations is to consciously shut out thoughts, dismiss them as ridiculous.

The only thing we should concentrate on is the end result.  Instead of “I’m afraid,” tell yourself “I can do this.”  Do not look at it as fear.  Look at it as a challenge, a game to play.  Then use your imagination how your life would be if you would conquer this challenge, if you would win at this game.  You might make a difference in delivering a powerful speech, you might be able to swim with dolphins, to be able to travel on airplanes like many people do, to go on adventures, etc., etc.  Imagine the whole possibilities and make yourself do it what challenges you the most.  Then, repeat it again and again until your mind will register it’s OK, and conquering a challenge will become a second nature to you.  Practice makes it easy.  You can win at this game – you better believe it.  Mind is powerful.  We just need to know how to consciously use it.

For more help with public-speaking, see how-to-be-brave-in-public-speaking.

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Comfort vs. Uncertainty

Posted by ineta on Apr 1, 2010 in change

Comfort… What a sweet word.  We do anything for comfort.  Comfortable clothes, comfortable shoes, comfortable coaches, comfortable living spaces, comfortable life…

On other hand, uncertainty scares us.  We run away from it.  We avoid it for as long as we can.  We fight it.  We hide from it in a comfort of our lives.  Definitely, we are creatures of comfort.

Life has to be in a balance.  What often times we don’t realize is that when we are in too much comfort, we stop learning.  It certainly great to be comfortable.  However, if there is no challenge in life, we get stuck in our routines without learning anything.  We work our everyday jobs, doing things over and over again.  Days go by really fast and we become dull, stuck in our everyday life.  We are happy where we are, but deep inside we know that something is missing.  We got to snap out of it and challenge ourselves to do something new, something challenging, something uncertain.

Uncertainty, on other hand, challenges us.  It brings us the new opportunities, lessons to learn.  Good or bad – but there are always lessons.  Uncertainty brings out our instincts to work.  In some cases, it puts us in a survival mode.  It is a great teacher.  It is like opening new doors, and it is your choice which way to go.  Of course, too much uncertainty is not good for us.  It causes lots of stress.  It causes lots of stress when we fight uncertainty as well, and not let it naturally flow.

There should be a balance.  When we feel we stop growing and we get set too much in our comfortable ways, it is time to find new challenges:  take lessons, learn new languages, change a career, find a new partner, go out there and learn something we always wanted to learn.  Open those doors and let yourself go in whichever direction you may choose.  The answer is right inside of you.

 

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