How many of us can look in the mirror and really like ourselves, without being critical?  Or seeing ourselves in the pictures without pressing the “Delete” button? Or even let others take pictures of us?  Do we really “see” ourselves for who we are?

We want to look perfect, thin, beautiful, smart, dressed up, with make up on to look somewhat decent.  We want to wait for someday to look just right: after vigorous exercise regime, after we lose some pounds, after someday we be happy… The list goes on. We keep chasing that “perfect” image of us that keeps eluding us.

According to Wikipedia‘s definition of Beauty, according to history, I found “The Koine Greek word for beautiful was ὡραῖος, hōraios, an adjective etymologically coming from the word ὥρα, hōra, meaning “hour”. In Koine Greek, beauty was thus associated with “being of one’s hour”. Thus, a ripe fruit (of its time) was considered beautiful, whereas a young woman trying to appear older or an older woman trying to appear younger would not be considered beautiful. In Attic Greek, hōraios had many meanings, including “youthful” and “ripe old age”.^“

The big question is “Why?” Why do we want to be perfect?  Is it for us or for others?  Is that our opinion, or others’?  What if today we would accept ourselves the way we are?  What that would be like?  What if others’ opinions do not really matter?  Some of us might protest, “Yeah, but my career/relationship… depend on it,” and other “yeah, buts.” It is just a butt.  It is all in our heads.  Perhaps we got to look elsewhere for our career, perhaps we got to surround ourselves with people who accept the way we are.  Or perhaps we got to accept ourselves first.  This is where we have to start.  When we start accepting ourselves no matter what, others will accept us, too.  If they will not, it will not matter to us anymore as long as we know who we are.  We ourselves can make us happy anytime we want to.  We do not need to depend on others for happiness.  It is our own choice.

Why do we want to be perfect (according others’ opinion) anyway?  We are not them and they’re not us.  We are ourselves, and nobody is like us, which we can learn to embrace it.  Nature is imperfect.  That’s why it is so beautiful.  The same here.  We are all unique, all kinds of shapes and forms.  Each one of us have unique talents, unique gifts, unique looks.  Can we imagine how boring it would be if we all would look the same and act the same?  Plastic surgeons already are making some people look the same with big lips, straight nose, fake unmovable smile.  Why in the world do we want to look like that?

When we do depend on others and reach for their approval, we become like zombies, not ourselves, and less of who we are.  We even start to live others’ lives, lives according others’ opinion.  In our minds, we care for others, but we do not really see ourselves.  We become unhappy and depressed and we do not know who we are anymore.  We hit “identity crisis.” This is an extreme case, of course, when we devote ourselves to others without leaving anything for ourselves.

We all make mistakes.  We all have our stories.  That’s how we see and learn from life.  We either embrace it – our lives, our lessons and dreams, even our bodies, or we let others to control us the way we look, the way we feel, the way we see and the way we act.  It is all up to us.  Do we want a ship to take us anywhere, or do we want to grab a wheel and choose our destination of our lives and dreams?  Do we want to live our lives or others’?

Who are you for yourself (without others’ opinion)? What do you do for your own enjoyment that lights up your eyes, puts you on the seventh cloud and makes your heart sing? What do you have as a result of it?

If it too hard to answer these questions, dream the answers.  Dream it big.  It is your life.  It is your dreams.  It is not others’.  It is all yours.  Keep your wheel in your hands, and lead your heart to your desired destination.  Where would you go?