How to Outsmart the Bullies?
We probably all dealt with bullies in our lives: in kindergarten, schools, at work, in relationships. The bully could be a co-worker, a boss, a partner, even an organization, etc., etc.
How do we handle the bully? Do we let them treat us like crap and be a victim, or do we do something about it? Let’s define “bully.” According to Merriam – Webster’s Dictionary and Thesaurus: bully is “a person habitually cruel to others who are weaker.” If we give in to bully, does that mean we are weak? We certainly do not want to choose being that.
Now, let’s look into bully’s mind. There are underlying reasons why bullies are the way they are.
1) They want to bully others around them, so they would not portray themselves as weak.
2) They need to control their surroundings, so they would not feel helpless.
3) They feel good when they hurt others because they do not want to be hurt themselves.
There might be a situation at some place at some time, where and when they have felt as weak, helpless and hurt. Therefore, in circumstances where they can feel power, they will do everything to be in control.
So the big question is how to dis-empower the bullies? How to outsmart them? How to protect yourself?
We need to diminish the circumstances where the bully feels powerful. How? We put them in surroundings, where they feel weak, helpless and hurt.
1) For your protection, never ever show fear and weakness. Bullies feed on that.
2) If possible, completely ignore them, like they would not exist.
3) Never make them mad. Do not want to infuriate the bull.
If that does not work,
4) Find their weak spot, their weakness, their insecurities and turn that against them. Let their own ego self-destruct them. They will not know what hit them.
5) Put them in surroundings where they feel helpless. For example, among stronger than him people or among people who make him feel helpless and insecure.
6) Sometimes you can kill bullying with kindness. Play on their weak spot. (Just never ever become a doormat. Always stand up for yourself.) You never know, bully might just need a friend, and he may be shocked because nobody was nice to him before.
Of course, different circumstances require different measures. Got to play accordingly. Just got to use your brain to outsmart the bully.
As businesses or organizations go, you can always change them. Nothing is worst for business than a bad word of mouth. If boss or co-worker bully you, – report them or change locations or jobs. Stand up for yourself to be respected. Being bullying is not in job’s description. If partners bully you – either stand up for yourself or leave them. Life is too short to be unhappy. You can always choose to be strong.
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