“Hi, how are you?”

“I’m fine. How about you?”

“I’m O.K.”

“Anything new in your life?”

“No. How about you?”

“The same old.”

Sounds familiar?  Ooh, we are such a creatures of habit.  We love our dull routines.  We get so adjusted, that even we love to hate them.  We LOVE comfort. We love familiar.  We love what we know and we do what we can to stay in the comfort zone.  What is unfamiliar is scary.  What we often do not realize is that in unfamiliarity we can find freedom – freedom from conditioning, freedom from the past.  Yes, ankles might shake from the fear of unknown, but in that unknown we’ll find something new to learn, something new and exciting to talk about, something new to experience.

What if we would take a new route home?  What if we would visit a new place that we never been before?  What if we would meet new people?  What if we would stop comparing new people we meet with our exes and the past?  How our life would look like if we would look at it from the new perspective?  Would we come alive?  We certainly would.  Now, if we would find time to follow our passions? Schedule them, if we have to.  Our lives would be so enriched.  We are worth it!  We are worth to live lives we desire.  Our daily routines are just excuses to be in the comfort – in the known.

There is enriched life that is waiting for us if we are brave enough to cross the line and free ourselves from the comfort trap.  The unknown is like a blank piece of paper – we can fill it with any colors we want, we can choose any words or it can become any shape in origami form.  It is our source of creativity.  What you choose your life to be?

All through the ages and all over the world, there is one language that most everybody understand.  It does not matter if it is a third world country or the richest country in the world.  It is timeless, and anybody can do it.  It is a language of dance, a pure expression of human existence and emotions:  love and romance; passion and seduction; anger and disappointment; fun and excitement; confusion and uncertainty, etc.  Dance is a story-telling through every motion of the body.  When we dance, we express ourselves what we feel deep inside.

So, what is your dancing style?  How do you feel when you let go, when you listen to every beat of the music?  When music takes you on the journey, what story do you tell?  What music do you like?

If you like slow and romantic, it is a deep expression of love.  Like in the waltz, your story is to go hand in hand, foot in foot, despite anything.  It is a projection of unbreakable bond and a deep romance.  It is a story of oneness.

In tango, on other hand, there is lots of passion and seduction.  The dance is full of emotions.   Both partners are passionate of who they are – it is a relationship of desires, separate as individuals, but becoming as one in understanding.  Heart-beat to heart-beat, eye to eye, smile – it sparkles a magic.  Opposites attract and balance each other out.

Other dance stories can be of fun and excitement, one of independence and freedom.  It is expression of joy, laughter and playfulness.  Any dance can become an expression of life.

Some of us, however, restrict ourselves from dancing.  We might think dancing is stupid or we do not want to make a fool of ourselves.  Then it is our story of being afraid of what others might think.  What else are we afraid of in life?  Do we often depend on others opinion?  If we can move, we can dance.  If toddlers can do it and even some birds can do it, we certainly can do it.  The next time we hear music, let ourselves go, let ourselves loose, be free and surprise ourselves, even if we have to start telling our story of confusion and uncertainty.  We can start copy other people in their movements, until we become in sync with them.  Then our story of uncertainty becomes a story of fun and unity with others.  When we become brave enough, we can start telling about our uniqueness with movements of our own.

The key to dancing is to become one with the music and express what we feel deep inside.  It’s just like listening to the music with every inch of our body.  Music and we become one.

Everyday we are governed by our thoughts.  Our thoughts project our reality.  The thoughts transfer then into actions, whether we are aware of it or not.

First, where does our thinking come from?  What it is based on?  Why we think the way we think?  Most of it consist of what we read, what we heard, what we learned.  Most of our thoughts are based on our past, that is familiar to us.  That’s why it is so hard to break away from mistakes we keep making.  We fall into the same trap, being aware of it or not.

For example, why some women or men fall repeatedly into abusive relationships?  Unconsciously, that’s familiar to them.  They do not know any better.  Why it is so hard to break bad habits? We think, we always done it that way – our mind keeps us hostage.  Why we keep our job even though we hate it? – it is familiar.  We justify that we got good insurance, great benefits, but each morning comes and we dread to go to work.  Days become years, and we are stuck being unhappy.  Some days are better than others, but deep inside we know we deserve better – yet we do not do anything about it.

We want to change so badly.  We promise ourselves “some day,” yet we keep going like the mouse in the wheel, and we get nowhere.

So, how to get unstuck?  How to re-condition our minds to go where we want to go, to achieve what we want to achieve?  How to get away from the past?

How about if we keep our past just for a reference to keep the lessons we learned?  That’s it.  As for present and future, let’s step into unfamiliar zone as often as possible.  What we think is what our reality is.

Another example:  If we think we cannot find our eyeglasses, we will search everywhere, even though they’re in our hand.  Now, if we concentrate in finding them, then we’ll find them instantly.  The same is with life.  If we think, we cannot do something, we’ll not even going to try it.  Now, if we think we can do it, we might end up doing it better than we previously thought.  We might surprise ourselves.  We got to step into unfamiliar, do new things, think in different ways – to recondition our minds that we can do anything we desire.

If we are stuck in abusive relationship, first, we got to change our mentality that we are worth only the best, and either stand up for ourselves or leave, or both.  In some instances, we might need help in that.  No person should be ever abused.

If we want to break free from a bad habit, we got to imagine us to be healthy, successful, honest, etc., whatever it might be, opposite from a bad habit – and condition our minds to take action toward it.

If we hate our jobs, think of this, “Life is too short to be unhappy, ” and take actions to change it.  We may need to save up for our new venture, or still work there until our hobby will take off to full time venture.  However, with our goal in mind we can now tolerate our jobs because we know it is only temporary.  Or, if we’re prepared, we can quit now, and go after our dreams now without waiting.

The key is to shift our minds and think positive.  We got to keep our minds on the target goal and go for it even it is not familiar or we’re afraid.  That’s where thinking positive comes in.  When we think positive, we are not easily let down and we see end results and go for them no matter what.  Sure, there might be things in the way, but with our shifted positive thinking, we can think outside the box and find solutions.  It’s all in our minds whether we can or cannot do.  Let’s choose, we can do it and act on it now.

Our minds are so super-busy, that they would not shut up when we lay down to sleep.  They work over-time, like that energizer bunny:  keeps going and going and going…

It’s great when our minds work to help us to achieve things, when we get a brilliant idea and go for it.  Then sleepless nights are great.

However, what keeps most of us late at night is useless stuff:

1)  “I’ll think about it” stuff;

2) Worries;

3) Uncompleted “To Do” lists.

Earlier that day, we see something in the store or online that we really like.  We tell salesperson to put it on hold.  Then, we rack our brains, “Should we get it? Do we really need it? But it looks so good.”… After thinking, we decide to go back and get it.

Now imagine if we do not need to “think about it” and buy it on the spot.  By night, we would enjoy what we bought; we would avoid the aggravation of thinking; and at the end, we would save our time, salesperson’s time and gas.  We would have a free mind and be able to sleep at night.

The key is if we like it, we should go for it right now, not later.  Why to put our enjoyment on hold?

The most major useless thing that keep us late at night is worry.  We worry about major things and minor things.  We worry about health, money, family – you name it.  Think about it… Does worry do anything good?  It gives us headaches, sleepless nights, stomachaches, ulcers, unclear thinking, black circles under the eyes, nervous breakdowns, breathing problems, anger outbursts, depression.  Nothing good comes out of worry.  Worrying is usually looking at the worst case scenario of the situation.

So, instead of worry (that does not do any good), look at positive and find a solution.  Granted, some problems are out of our control – might take awhile to solve.  Some things we just have to let it be.  However, most problems can be solved one way or another.  With little innovation or different way of thinking, there is always a solution.

Instead of filling our minds with worry (that is hazardous to our health and sanity), how about to look at solutions.

To us that are busy-bodies, To-Do list is pretty essential.  There are not enough hours in a day to accomplish everything we want.  Therefore, the To-Do list is not finished – again.  We regret not be able to accomplish it all.  So now, we add undone items to tomorrow’s To-Do list, which probably will be unfinished – again.  What we do not realize is that we have become over-achievers.

What if we would throw that To-Do list out of the window and concentrate on stuff that really matters to us.  What if we do not depend on it anymore?  What if instead of multi-tasking and overextending ourselves, we concentrate on one task at the time that is most important? Would life be so much easier?

At the end of the day, then we can breathe easier knowing we achieved what was important to us.  It’s great to be imperfect.  Without “To-Do” list, there is no more pressure to be perfect – in that, there is a peace of mind.

We got to get rid of the useless junk that clogs our mind.  This way, we can make a space for more important stuff, like joy for life.

For more inspiration, you can log in to living on impulse to see what is possible.

Most of us are usually the followers.  We want to be like somebody.  We want to fit in in the crowd.  If we differ in something, we think something is wrong with us.  How can we be different, why can’t we be like everyone else?  What we do not realize is that by thinking like this, we put ourselves in the box.  We become average people, looking average way, doing average things – we become like everybody.

Actually, not fitting in – is not a bad thing.  That means, we are different.  We have our unique personality, unique style – we are our unique ourselves.  Instead of hiding our uniqueness, we should celebrate it.  Being different is a gift.  Being different opens up all the new doors.  When we stand out from the crowd, we get different opportunities that no average person will ever get:  from getting a job to having a successful business to having a great life simply by being ourselves.

Think about it.  Do you know how many job applications employer gets?  Many applications and resumes never even get read.  How many businesses there are selling the same things? Do you know how many average people there are having routine jobs they hate, and never differentiate showing the actual talents they have because they are afraid to be different?  Unfortunately, many.

If we look for a job, we usually do it backwards.  We look for any job that pays.  Then, we get stuck with it, hate it, but we can tell ourselves, “Well, at least it pays the bills and we get benefits.” We get a job and we adjust to it.

The better way would be to look at our passions and skills, our gifts, our strengths and look for the job accordingly.  This way we will stand out and we will enjoy our jobs.  Employer will see right away the enthusiasm we have and how much we can contribute to the company.

Next, we got to promote ourselves.  Going for the job is like a sales job.  You are selling yourself.  If you would be an employer, would you hire yourself?  Stand out from the crowd:

1.  Learn about the job and industry.

2.  Go talk to employees to find out important people’s names, insider information like new positions opening up.  Also, when talking to them see if they are happy with the company.  If most of them are not, that means the company does not treat people right.  Look at other options, if you get a bad feeling.

3.  Always trust your instincts.

4.  If you need to learn some needed skills, sign up for classes.  Find out details what company and employer needs and show them what you can offer.

5.  Show employer you’re enthusiastic.  Attitude is everything.

6.  Most importantly, be yourself.  Be confident in your skills and who you are.

Now, if you have your own business, how to stand out?  As I mentioned before, there are so many ordinary businesses offering ordinary products we can find anywhere.  Some businesses even steal other business ideas or product lines to be more competitive.  Their mentality is, “if competition can sell these items, why can’t we?  We even can sell for lower price.”  Some owners even sneak to competitor’s supply trucks to steal supplier’s names.  What they do not realize is that in long run, they not only ruin competitor’s business, they ruin themselves.  They want to be ordinary and copy others.

The same, like with a job, if you go to business just to make money, the business will never survive and you’ll be miserable in the process.  Now, if you utilize your gifts and skills, and you’re passionate what you’re doing, you not only enjoy what you’re doing, but your customers will see that through you.  To stand out, you got to offer something unique:  product or service that nobody has.  People love different things, something that is out-of-ordinary.  One real great example is Dalia Koss at daliakoss.com.  Dalia makes the most extraordinary jewelry.  In 5 years of business, she never runs out of her creativity.  She makes one-of-a-kind jewelry and never makes the same.  Not only she dazzles customers with her creations, but she gives the best service.  She will match customer with a necklace, what will look good.  She even transforms a non-jewelry wearer to one who never leaves home without her jewelry.  Dalia creates magic with her shop and she is passionate what she does.  That’s a true example of standing out from the crowd.

When you’re passionate about your talents and who you are, you naturally stand out from the crowd.  This becomes your way of living – being passionate for life.  It transforms in everything you do.  It becomes your lifestyle.  Another great example is Markus Urban in living on impulse.  Markus’ lifestyle represents his way of being.  He is curious about everything, travels all over the world, takes on adventures and inspires people on the way.  Markus does not let anything stop him from achieving what he wants.  He has a great outlook on life, and he turns his dreams into reality.  He is go-getter and inspires people by being him.  Many people ask, “How does he do it?”  He always finds the way – and that’s his way of life.  He stands out from the crowd by being him.

Both Dalia Koss and Markus Urban are my family.  I’m so proud of them, and they are the biggest inspiration in my life.  I love them with all my heart.  They inspired me to write this article.

To sum it up, to be extraordinary rather than ordinary and to stand out from the crowd, we got to:

1. Use our talents, gifts, passions at work and life;

2.  Be different than everybody else;

3.  Believe in ourselves, and most importantly, be ourselves.

There is nobody like us, and we should utilize it to our advantage.

Think about it…  How easily you’re influenced by others?  Do you have your own say?  Or you let others say things for you?  Do you stand your ground?  Or you think others know better?

Of course, some influence is great.  We become better people because of it; we learn something from our heroes or people we admire.  We become who we want to become.

There is also another type of influence that works quite opposite.  If we do not have our say in anything, do not stand for our own beliefs, others will influence us any way they want to.  They can shape us in any way and form if we allow them.  We become who we really not.

How to tell a difference?  How to resist unhealthy influence?  How to stay who we truly are despite constant influence from others?

Here are the answers:

1) Follow your instincts;

2) Do not do anything that feels not right for you;

3) Have your own opinion;

4) Stand your ground;

5) Do not let others change who you are or your work that you stand for.

You are unique, and nobody is like you.  Why change yourself or your work according other person’s expectations?  If it is no longer you, do not do it, do not let others to influence you.

Silence…  It seems so easy, yet for some of us it is almost unattainable.  We are used to so much noise.  When all of a sudden, power goes down, we realize how quiet actually feels, if only for one moment.  There is so much man-made noise:  refrigerator, faucet, washing machine, etc., etc.  It is in our mind’s background, humming or dripping, but we’re so used to it, we do not even hear it.  It is also usually overpowered by blaring TV or music.  Some of us even fall asleep by TV.  This way, we can block all the noise that is in our heads:  recaps of the day, worries, what ifs, arguments.  Even if we would shut off all the appliances, we still would hear the endless chatter of our minds.

What if we would shut all that noise down?  Would that be possible? How that would feel?

The best way to do this is to go out into nature:  could be a park, by the lake, pond, the beach – anywhere away from the busy city life.  Leave all technology at home or in the car.  Once there, enjoy the moment:

1) Take the shoes off (just watch out for fire ants, if you’re in the south ) and feel every blade of grass or grain of sand under your feet.

2) If worrying thought crosses your mind – observe it and let it go for now – this moment is yours – free.

3) Feel the sun or breeze on your skin or in your hair.

4) Breathe.

5) Close your eyes for a moment.  Then, open them and see every detail around you.

6) Try to pick up sense of smell – perhaps the blooming tree or flower nearby.

7) Listen – listen to the silence.  Listen all around you.

Feel the moment with all your senses.  Walk where your feelings tell you.  Walk and listen.

You just got re-connected with nature.  You got re-connected with essence of you.  Your head is all clear of junk and noise.  Silence… – Oh, so precious.

You feel totally refreshed and re-energized.  Your head is clear.  Once your mind is uncluttered, perhaps you can find a solution, an answer, get a brilliant idea.  Most importantly, you feel totally alive and ready for anything.

Silence is brilliant.  It is like an empty canvas ready to be filled with the brightest of colors.  In silence, we can find wisdom…

]]> http://wonderocity.com/silence/feed 0 http://wonderocity.com/how-to-ward-off-an-energy-vampire http://wonderocity.com/how-to-ward-off-an-energy-vampire#comments Sun, 16 May 2010 21:01:21 +0000 ineta http://wonderocity.com/?p=158

We all have our energy fields.  Did you ever felt that somebody was having a bad day without even talking to them?  Or, somebody passes you, and you suddenly feel such a great energy from them, you can’t explain.  The worst is when after talking to somebody, you feel all your energy is drained.  That’s when you encountered an energy vampire.

These people are usually negative.  Nothing satisfies them.  After spending even a little time with them, you feel very tired, out of energy, as if somebody sucked you all out of your vitality.  Conversely, after talking to you, they may feel revitalized.  How to recognize them?

1) They usually talk on and on about their problems or somebody else’s problems.

2) They slander about others non-stop

3) They are self-absorbed

They do not realize what effect they have;  they just bring their negativity onto others.

So, how to ward off this energy vampire?  What if they are our close friends or family?  You don’t need to say good-bye to them forever , as long as:

1) You stay in the present and be aware of it;

2) Do not take their talk whole-heartedly, do not take it personally;

3) As soon as you feel the energy drain, cut them off by saying you got to go or change a subject;

4) You do not have to listen to stuff you don’t want to listen.  Don’t need to put up with crap.

5) Be in control of conversation.

If you do feel your energy drained after conversation, go get fresh air, breathe.  Do not let your mind to recapture the whole encounter and conversation.  Think about something else, preferably something pleasant.

We all know someone who has all the luck in the world.  It seems that they are born under lucky star.  Anything they wish, they achieve.  How do they do that?  Is it possible to turn our luck around? What we do not realize is that we all make up our luck, either good or bad.  So, how can we become lucky? I believe, the answer is this:

Three keys to good luck are:

1) intention

2) attitude

3) gratitude

First, we need to know what we really want, intend and focus on  it no matter what.  What we concentrate on, that’s what we attract.  If we intend to achieve something and are open-minded and persistent, we’ll always see the new opportunities coming.  Most importantly, we got to act upon those opportunities and not let doubt to set in.  On other hand, if we do not know what we want, the opportunity might be under our nose, but we are not going to see it.

Next, attitude is everything.  If we concentrate on negative, all we are going to see is negative.  If we concentrate on positive, we’ll see only positive things.

Third, gratitude is the most important.  We can be grateful for things we often take for granted:  our health, family, friends, each day we live that present us with new beginnings and opportunities.  If we think what we’re grateful for each day, our attitude will instantly change from negative to positive.  It will bring a positive intention for the next day.  Thinking how grateful we are will make us think how really lucky we are to have things we never thought of.  We are lucky to be alive, growing and learning.

]]> http://wonderocity.com/how-to-have-a-better-luck/feed 5 http://wonderocity.com/taking-chances http://wonderocity.com/taking-chances#comments Mon, 03 May 2010 19:33:47 +0000 ineta http://wonderocity.com/?p=148

“The only regret we have is chances we did not take,” as saying goes.

This is so true.  We go day by day routinely, doing things we usually do, and we feel so comfortable because it is so familiar.  Sometimes, new opportunities present themselves, but we’re either blind to them, or we are afraid to take chances.  So, we ignore them, and again we go day by day.  Yet, we dream for more.  Dreaming alone is not enough.  Why is it so hard to take chances?  The reasons probably are:

1) We think of everybody else first;

2) We think we are not worth it;

3) We think we are not good enough;

4) We are too shy;

5) We are too comfortable;

6)  We are afraid of change.

What if we would be brave to take those chances, regardless?  How we would feel?  Most likely, powerful.  We would make our dreams come true.

But, what if we took some chances and it did not work?  Did we think it was a failure and we stopped trying?  If it did not work at first time, we got to think of it as first step.  First, we got to learn how to crawl before we can learn how to walk.  Also, we should stop “trying.” We got to be “doing.”  Trying will never work.

To be braver each day to take actions, I suggest to start “Taking Chances” journal.  List each day how brave you were by taking new chances.  It will take you out of comfort zone, but it will be worth it.

The keys are:

1) Who cares what others think

2) Always trust your instincts – your inner guide

3) You are good enough and so much worth it.

We are the ones who build our lives for ourselves.  So, what are you going to take a chance on today?

For more inspiration, you can read about famous book rejections that with persistence turned out a HUGE success later:

Famous Book Rejections